• Au Revoir Madame. How are you gone?

    by  • February 3, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Depression, Those Gone Before Us • 0 Comments

    Why did you have to leave me? I never expected this to happen. I was going to be with you for four years, not just over six months. You were going to watch me grow. We were going to be close. I was going to learn so much from you. I had plans, ideas, things I took for granted. I was going to go to France with you. You were going to help perfect my accent, and we were going to look at the Eiffel Tower. I just took for granted the fact that I was going to see you yesterday, second period, just like always. I was gonna show you my homework, and hope you didn’t realize that I didn’t actually complete all of it. The last time I saw you, we watched a little cartoon about a boy who makes a friend with the “teacher’s pet.” It made the difference between a copain and an ami sink in. You corrected me on my terribly American misconception of how to pronounce the word endive (on-deev, not en-dive). I still don’t know what an endive is. I’ll never be able to ask you. I won’t be able to see you at tutorial and have you explain why the adjective goes after the noun. You’re never gonna call “Annick” out in class. You won’t wear your awesome clothes or your adorable heels. You won’t sit in your special director-type chair to explain a lesson. My French homework lays only partially done, and my eyes keep watering. You were just gone for one class. I didn’t give it a second thought. When I showed up for school yesterday, I was relieved. I’d managed to get my huge work load done. When I first heard, I didn’t understand. Did I hear it wrong? You’re fine aren’t you? What do they mean? They said the prognosis was bad, does that mean you’re dying? I’m just shocked, did I hear right? They said your family is coming to pull the plug! They’re going to take you off life support?! How is this possible. My teacher is crying. The loud speaker comes on again. You passed on twenty minutes ago. What? You’re gone? I couldn’t have heard it right. You should be in your classroom. I should walk in in an hour or so and see you. This can’t be happening. How is it happening? I can’t hold back the tears because it finally starts to sink in as I hear people crying behind me. My friends come over and give me a hug. Don’t touch me. There are upper classmen in the room. They’re in tears too. They say we’re only freshmen, they’ve had her for four years. We don’t have any idea about her. Shut up. Don’t say that. I knew her. I loved her. She’s gone now. I can’t believe it. What’s going to happen? We had plans…

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