I’ve been living the same way for as long as I can remember. I’ve always had plain brown, curly hair kept in a pony-tail or a variation of. I’ve always been too shy to speak to anyone other than a close friend. I’ve never dyed my hair, gotten a piercing or a tattoo. I’ve always worn jeans a tank top or a t-shirt. I’m not necessarily unhappy though. I have amazing friends that truly care about me. My family is whole and happy. I’m at college studying to do what I love for a living. My life is pretty great.
But it hit me just last week: I am very unsatisfied. I haven’t progressed. Gail Sheehy said “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”
I need a change. I’ve dyed my hair. A dark brown, nearly black. I went conservative for my first time, I guess. But I find that I have the urge to dye a section of it a deep pink-red… that kinda glows. I went and got my belly button pierced. I’d been thinking about it for a long while, but I finally just got up and did it. Hurt like hell too, but when I look at it in the mirror I love it. It looks good on me. And when my art teacher asked me to model for his figure drawing class, I said yes. Old me would have said no in a polite way, or come up with some reason that I couldn’t. Nope. I’m gonna model in my shorts and bathing suit top and I’m gonna be drawn. I’ve always done the drawing, but I’ve never been drawn. This is definitely gonna be interesting.
But I’m not done. I’m gonna change things. I want to talk to people. I want to go out on a date with a cute boy. I want to be different now.