there are days and dreams and memories and sounds and smells and moments.
there are aches and tears and movements and places and songs and voices.
and there you are. staring at me the way you had before. right before the times you said you loved me. right before the times you told me i didn’t love you. right before i cried and we fought and we lost each other.
and there i am. pleading for another chance when i know i am all out of them. i know i never had enough in the first place. i know i hurt and i hurt and i try to not hurt anymore. i know i can never be what you want.
you told me that one day i would find someone like you but more understanding. that you fought with me so much because all the love you had held up in your heart was trying to get to me and you couldn’t let it. i wasn’t enough for your love.
almost everyday i wonder what would have become of us had you allowed your love to find me like it wanted to. had you let me into your heart the way it ached for my touch. had you believed me when i showed you how i loved you so much my soul longed for you.
nowadays i am different. i am worn now from the intense love i once felt with you. i want a love like ours again but there isn’t enough time. i can’t go back and start fresh with the stain of our obsession on my heart. i now have to love on top of it and hope that my new love will never travel deep enough inside of me to see what you have already done.
your luckless romance