• That girl

    by  • February 1, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Advice • 4 Comments

    All my life, I have marveled at the idea of love. Of loving someone to unknown capacities, of loving someone enough to where you would literally take a bullet for them. Of loving the person that makes you love yourself.

    Tomorrow, all of that just might be shattered. I am a sophomore in college, and I have had rejection, after rejection, after rejection…after rejection. All the rejection has seemed to twist my mind and warp it into ways of thinking I would never take on.

    I have 2 choices: Jump headfirst into a serious relationship with the same person that cheated on me, or have a **** buddy…of whom I do not care for and he does not care for me.

    I plead for someone to help me see straight. For someone to renew my faith in love and to convince me that I am beautiful, inside and out. Tomorrow marks the day I make my choice.

    Help me. I don’t want to be “that” girl.

    4 Responses to That girl

    1. the truth.
      February 1, 2012 at 12:37 pm

      you forgot the option where you dont do either of them

      you might be lonely, but would you rather doing something you’ll regret either way and probably develop even worse feelings about yourself than you would about being lonely… and if you get with your ex and mr prince charming comes along, you’re screwed… and yes, the fuck buddy thing will make you “that girl” and then you’ll never know if guys who show interest in you genuinely care or they’ve just heard that you’ll sleep with someone for fun.

    2. Lauren
      February 1, 2012 at 12:50 pm

      i’m so glad i read this!!
      i have ALWAYS been “that” girl. i have always dated boys that i knew wern’t good for me (cheaters), and boys that i never really loved that much…but i hoped it would turn into true love if i stuck around long enough. i also kept going back to the same 3 ex boyfriends, and roatating them out whenever i got bored. i figured that was as good as it got…and i might as well settle since im not getting any younger. and really…what do i have to offer? there are much prettier, smarter, and skinner girls out there other then me.

      but then one day, all of that changed. and not because a boy came along and changed it for myself. i told myself i dont need a boy to validate who i am. because as soon as that boy stops liking me…im right back to where i started. i decided that if i am going to make it in this world, i need to love myself and depend on myself. i started running to get back in shape. i started painting, because that’s what i love to. i spent more time with my family because they support me, and i learned a lot about my mom and dad, which told me a lot about who i am and where i came from.

      then, without planning it or knowing it, i changed. i grew up. i loved who i was, and everyone saw the change in me. i also met the love of my life.

      i was on a long long run, sweaty, hair up, old gym close on. and i met THE ONE. and like you said…you always hear about the one…but where is he?? right? well, we just found each other. it was instant. we fell in love, and haven’t looked back since that day. he moved in 4 weeks later, and we are engaged to get married. and this is movie love. over the top love. cant get enough…take a bullet love. and i wasnt looking for it, and i didnt even want it. but when you find him..you will know. you just need to live your life. one of my favorite quotes is “dont look for love, beg for love, or suffer for love. do you what you love doing, and you will find someone who loves the same thing”

      and tust me…going back to a cheater is only going to limit the time and opportunity you have to find the one. when you are out with this cheater..the cute guy from across the restaurant wont come say hi because he will see that you’re taken. when you guve your time and energy to this cheater, that’s time and energy you are taking away from yourself, which no one deserves more then you.
      i hope this helps. its always hard to know someone’s exact situation, but i have spent many years making mistakes, so i hope my lesson has helped you 🙂

      but DO NOT settle for a cheater for a fuck buddy. don’t settle at all. get out there are realize how amazing you are, so someone else has the same chance and fall in love with you.

    3. E
      February 1, 2012 at 3:12 pm

      You definitely don’t want to settle back with the cheater because you’re comfortable with him, and because you know you’ll get affection from him. Those aren’t good enough reasons. Fuck buddies rarely work out happily.

      I’d suggest the more difficult yet more rewarding route- waiting for someone better. You may miss out on someone much better, who will love and appreciate you, while you’re settling for someone mediocre.

    4. J
      February 1, 2012 at 10:34 pm

      I was in your same situation last summer. Oh and Im also a college sophomore. I could have gone back with a cheating ex, or start up with a **** buddy. I chose the buddy. I’ll admit, it was fun at the time. It was nice not having to worry about feelings and all of that. But after it ended, because these things always do, I really regretted it. I havent spoken to him since the end of summer, and I think I am better off that way. I did later find out that while i was messing around with the **** buddy, there was another guy out there, a really nice guy, who had wanted to ask me out on a date, but once he heard about my special friend, decided not to. I wish he would have, because I absolutely would have said yes, and who knows what could have happened.

      So if I were you, I wouldnt do either. Don’t go back to your past, and dont bring someone new in your life who has no plans for being a part of your future, except for sex. You deserve more, and you will find it.

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