• Diagnosis?

    by  • February 1, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 4 Comments

    I started writing yet ANOTHER letter to you — only much more in-depth, heart-felt, and with greater passion — and halfway through I started feeling stupid for putting such repetitive thoughts on the page. These words aren’t going to bring you back. They aren’t going to make me less lonely. They are mere thoughts on a white backdrop; unreturned dreams and desires that elicit nothing more than deepened sorrow at the sight of this burned bridge lying charred and useless at the bottom of a chasm. I feel so silly for still wanting you in such a passionate and persistent way, even after all this time, and even after the very clear, very broad and defined lines you drew. What’s wrong with me?

    4 Responses to Diagnosis?

    1. ANEWDAY
      February 1, 2012 at 10:34 pm

      I feel your pain in all of this….completely understand through and through.

    2. ANEWDAY
      February 1, 2012 at 10:47 pm

      Perhaps this is the letter that I needed to read to fight this closure that needs to be…this closure has gotten a hold of me time and time again…it’s hard to let go, especially when that bridge that I knew so well isn’t mine to walk over into…to the other side…I realized it too late…there is already so much pain in this world..causing someone else pain wouldn’t be worth it…I’ve got enough of it to know causing someone else that pain would make things worse.

      I know it’s not a letter to me, but it really made me think from both sides. Maybe that bridge will never be crossed because of boundaries set in place, but one thing we both can take with us is LOVE. We both learned to love through all of this and I can promise that person that I wrote to that they will always have a piece of my heart. I sincerely wish you the best. You sound like a brilliant and faithful person who is truly loving with all their heart. How they could miss out on such a wonderful person as you, I don’t understand.

      May God bring you the love you so deserve and hold your heart during the pain and heartache. With time things will get better. Now I need to go and bite my own words.


    3. Enjay
      February 2, 2012 at 8:55 am

      Thanks. As always your words have made an impact. Perhaps I *will* finish and post that “stupid” letter, if only to get it out of my system. Looks like my recent conclusion that “love” would be enough for me was fallacious, because even with the introduction of another girl in my life, I find I don’t want ANYBODY’S love; I want HER love, and it’s tearing me up inside.

      And I’m truly sorry for all you’ve had to go through with him. You deserve somebody who can truly see your beauty and worth and awesomeness and who will love you unconditionally the way you deserve and desire to be loved. I sincerely hope that one day you find that love, no matter where you find yourself in life.

      In Christ,

    4. Rose
      February 2, 2012 at 9:50 am

      Some people just should not or cannot be together.

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