• i give up.

    by  • January 31, 2012 • * Safe for Work *, Loneliness • 2 Comments

    i give up.
    i give up on you
    i give up on me
    i give up on trying to be this person that i know i’ll never be.
    i give up on studying, on trying to be nice, on trying to act like i’m never sad, or hurt, or lonely.
    so terribly lonely sometimes i have to close my eyes to keep the tears from spilling out of my eyes and filling up my room and drowning me.
    i’m giving up on reminding myself to get out of bed every morning and get in my car and go to school and talk to you and take notes and focus and listen and remember and cram cram cram all this nonsense into my head that i don’t care about at all.
    i’m giving up on trying to smile,
    because it just hurts too much.

    i’m tired. i’m just so tired.
    the days are too long, and the nights are too short.
    school is an endless of stretch of highway, and i’m stranded, alone under the hot sun, just stumbling…no, crawling my way to a destination too far away to see.

    this is endless, and i’m just…

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    2 Responses to i give up.

    1. Fg
      January 31, 2012 at 6:13 pm

      It will get better… Fight on through…


    2. Ann
      January 31, 2012 at 11:32 pm

      I don’t know you, but I know your pain. I know the sadness you must feel, the weight carrying you down. You deserve a break, you really do. But what you really need to ask yourself is, why? Why are you going to school? Why do you have to pretend to be perfect?

      I, too, hated school, but now there is not one thing I regret about going. I do know that I regret pretending to be someone else. I think the people around me felt just as I did. The only difference was that I never showed them.

      Stay strong. You are beautiful inside and out.

      Ask yourself what do you really want? What would make you happy?



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