Click here for a letter.I miss you more then ever, but I’ll never let you know it…
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I miss you more then ever, but I’ll never let you know it…
Hey 
I’m a girl in college! A freshman to be exact. Everyday I wake up and put on real clothes not sweats, I do well in my classes, and I have fun on the weekends. I’m pretty much the girl next door that everyone on campus knows and thinks is a total sweetheart. Everyone always says how I seem to know everyone in our freshman class. I’m surrounded by loving friends wherever I go.
I have everything I could ever need. But somehow, I can’t get a boyfriend.
So I sit and wonder:
*I still know how to have fun date nights/hookups when I’m in a relationship, but is it because I don’t sleep around when I’m single?
*I’m waiting for sex until I’ve found the right guy, but is it because I’m currently a virgin?
*I still know how to have tons of fun sober, but is it because I don’t drink?
*I’ve always been told how pretty I am, but is it because I’m not pretty enough?
*I have a super challenging schedule which is why I couldn’t rush, so is it because I’m not a part of greek life here on campus?
It seems like you guys complain about a few things like being friend zoned (which I don’t do!), being played by a girl who just wants to “keep her options open”, or how girls are surrounded by drama (I’ve never had any drama). A lot of guys have closed off their hearts because of one girl or what they think girls do which is very unfortunate because not all girls are out here to destroy.
I am pretty much the chillest girl one could find that loves football, does NOT spend all of your money up, plays call of duty occasionally, the girl that your mom would LOVE, and the girl that will not play with your heart. So why can’t I find a boyfriend? I don’t know.
I just want to love and be loved. Call me babe. Introduce me to your family. Open up your heart to me. Cuddle with me in bed. Play with my hair. Kiss me. Be there for me. Hold my hand when I get scared.
Until then, I’ll lay in bed by myself and wonder why I can’t find love. I’ll think about all the things that could possibly be wrong with me while others just tell me to be patient. Being patient sucks! No matter how many guys I meet, I end up becoming one of the guys simply because I am so laid back.
Let me repeat: I just want to love and be loved. Not treated as one of the guys.
So to all of you college boys out there:
Why don’t you notice me? Can we explore the possibilities of me not being one of the guys? I just want to find whichever one of you that is for me and make you feel like the man I know you can be!
Maybe I’m just out here chasing a dream, but I know there’s a college boy out there for me.
dear life,
you are a constant battle. day by day mins, hours, days, weeks, and months
pass by and i feel like everyone is just so happy and i haven’t felt like
that well to be honest i can’t remember a time in my life that i was ever
happy. I feel like what’s the point and the sad part is that no one knows
how i feel and i doubt anyone will ever know what i feel. I don’t trust
people because in the end the only person everyone thinks about is
themselves and that’s how it is, so what’s the point of telling people
your feeling when faking it is fine to just get by thru the day after
day which turns into years. I feel like the future is bleak and nothing
positive will come out. I feel like a puppet getting pulled to do this
and that and i’m constantly thinking of other’s happiness how can i make
their lives better and i’m always last or i don’t think of myself and to
be honest i really don’t know what my purpose is and what’s the point to
everything. feelings are hard to change i tell my myself today is a good
day that feeling of something is not right and that i don’t matter never
leaves. life in general is not easy and it will never be. happiness is i
really don’t know and i do wanna know but i think some people aren’t meant
to know it or feel it because that how things end up.
one day i hope…………….. but less likely
somedayy???
keep dreaming………
the end.
Melanie,
You can’t stand me, sit down! You can’t face me, turn around! Think I’m trippin, tie my shoe! Look trick, we have been best friends for three years. Did you really think I stole Nico from you? Obviously you were not doing something right! I am sorry if the kid didn’t like you back then, I am sure he likes you now! It’s not like I was that stupid to think that you wouldn’t be a backstabber and talk to him. Go ahead hun, you can have the fucking kid, HE’S ALL YOURS! The thing I don’t get is why you had to lie about it this whole time, if you like the kid just say it. Don’t keep me guessing just because you don’t trust me! I don’t even know why you don’t trust me, it’s not like I stabbed you in the back NO I was and still am a good friend. You are just too stupid to realize that he was just going to play you like he did me. But go ahead, fuck up your life for a guy! Like I said multiple times, I have my future set for me you are the player that nobody is interested in and no guy likes. I chose you as my friend because I thought you were a friend, but when it comes down to picking your true friends you are no where close to my top! Truthfully, I can’t see you messing up your life because of having sex with a guy, but I can see you messing it up because everyone is going to know what kind of girl you really are and how you do your friends. Do you really think coaches are going to be interested in a player that can’t be trusted? The truth hurts! I know I have made mistakes in my life that I am not proud of, but I really believed in you, you use to be the girl I looked up to, the girl I go to when i have problems, and my best friend that I told all my crushes to and life crisis’s to. But then I realized that you can’t be trusted because you are just like ever other skank in the high school world, a back stabbing, boyfriend stealing skank that nobody likes. I am not saying i am perfect, but I am way closer than you! I just want to say I am officially done with our friendship, you can act fake all you want and try to win back my trust but it won’t work. I wish you and Nico the best! Just remember when you have sex the first time, just remember that he saw my body first:)
Love your EX-bestfriend,
T
Hey world, guess what?
I HAVE DEPRESSION
This is the first time I’ve admitted it to anyone. And it’s been around for years…
Bet you didn’t see that one coming did you?
There’s no way the happiest girl could have it. There’s no way that girl who always seems to have it under control could have it.
And yet… it’s true.
Sometimes, it’s the biggest battle in the world to get out of bed. It’s so hard to keep those dark thoughts in my head from controling what I do. It’s the hardest thing in the world to go through my day having to constantly tell myself “keep going, you can get through this.” I try SO HARD not to let anyone know. Seriously, I should win an academy award for the acting I’ve done on looking like I’m happy.
I can’t tell anyone. I can’t let them know how hard things are. So many people are depressed, why would my problems be worse than someone else’s? I can’t admit to those I love that there might actually be something wrong with me.
Some days are just really hard.
I still miss you. I still love you. I wish we could be together.
One day you’ll realize you made the biggest mistake of your life. I hope we can have another opportunity. You promised me things and I believed you. I gave you every thing and more. Just please, remember me. When you’ve finally matured and grow out of you lying and using girl phase..come back please.
4 years we have been together.
I’ve given up family to have you in my life.
I’ve lost everything for you.
You continue to take, take, take from me.
Emotionally, sexually, and financially.
I try to do little things “just because”
Like the back scratch you fall asleep to.
And I don’t get anything in return.
I hear the same things from you every day.
“Can we “do it”" is your favorite.
“Will you make me some food?”
“If you scratch me for 5 minutes I’ll scratch you” – and you never do.
You tell me to take care of the dishes.
You tell me to do your laundry.
You tell me I am a slob.
You tell me I am a bitch.
You tell me that I don’t love you, or care about you.
But if I didn’t love you, or care the slightest bit, do you really think I’d still be here? Because if I stopped caring, you would lose me forever.
And it breaks my heart.
Because it feels like
You don’t care
and
You don’t love me
After 4 years.
Dear stoner assholes currently sitting in my living room.
You are friends and family of my boyfriend of 4 years. At one point, I thought we were friends. Currently? I hate you all and have minimal if any respect left for you. I allow you to sit in MY house, play xbox in my house, smoke dope (regardless if you’re legal, it still bugs the fuck out of me), and I get nothing out of it. We do not talk, we do not hang out. You come here, you get stoned, you eat all of my food, TWO 24 packs of soda is gone in 3 days. HOW DO YOU DO THAT? You rack up my electric bill, you leave trash everywhere, and you don’t even have the manners to THANK ME for once. Today was the last straw. Before I left for school (full time Criminal Justice student), I spent over an hour washing dishes. I had to hand wash ALL of my expensive wine glasses, because you were too lazy to wash out a normal dish. So instead I had to wash my expensive glasses, which I am now one short because one of you jerks broke one, and threw it away and couldn’t even tell me you broke my fricken expensive glass.
Dear lovely boyfriend,
I know you practically live here. BUT. You do not pay any bills. You have no job. And all the money you come across goes straight to your green card purposes. You also aren’t in school. While I am away, since you are living FOR FREE, contribute, please, before I blow a gasket. You sit here with your stupid friends all day long. I took out 4 bags of trash today that you said you would take out “later”, 5 days ago. I left the pot you cooked out of in the sink, soaking, because I am nice. Today I only asked one thing from you – wash out ONE pot. I got home from 4 hours of class tonight, to find the pot still in the sink. When I badgered you about it (in front of your friends), you said “Ok”. I have been home for 3 hours, the pot is still dirty.
I told you 3 days ago I needed a break from your goon squad, and you acknowledged that. I did not say I want an “us” day sometime in the next month. I need a break before I bust their stupid bongs over their more stupid heads.
After all of this. I desperately need a break from your friends. To the point where I repeated myself tonight, in front of your friends – making me look like an asshole. But you aren’t doing anything to help…maybe when they all go, you should go too. Your lack of care towards my feelings is making me just as upset with you.
I feel like I am losing my mind.
This is what I’ve typed up to post in my house…I just don’t know how else to handle this.
YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT WORK HERE;
PICK UP AFTER YOURSELVES
Rinse the dishes and cups that you use and put them in the dishwasher.
If you are not capable of doing this simple task, you don’t need to use them
BEFORE YOU LEAVE, make sure ALL of your mess is taken care of.
The trash can is not far away, use it.
I am not a cook or a personal restaurant. I won’t make your dinner, and I can’t afford to feed you.
If you feel the need for drinks and munchies, bring your own – you are allowed to cook it here.
I deal with all of you smoking in my house – legal or not.
I am tired of dope in every room of my house, and leaving ashes in/on my bathroom sink is rude.
Clean up your mess when you’re done or you won’t have the privilege of smoking here.
Every time I have to pick up your trash, hand wash your dirty dishes, or spend at least an hour scrubbing resin off of my floor, I lose some respect for you. If I have less respect for you, I will have less patience with your messes.
If you actually took the time to read all of these and thought for one second that I am a total bitch for enforcing rules in my home, that’s fine. I am a bitch, I am rude, and I am human.
But I am not your mother.
In april 20, 2011 i found out that i was pregnant at only 17 years of age. i had just gotten back with my ex boyfriend. during that time we had to tell our parents that we were expecting and that we wanted to keep it. our parents suggested that it would be nice if we married and we agreed because we had plans of getting married before i got pregnant. we got married at Las Vegas, Nevada on March 28, 2011 and we had a whole future ahead of us.
During summer we would go out to parties, the beach, the park etc. we thought we had it all. my first trimester of my pregnancy things were good we found out we were having a baby boy but in my second things started to fall. it started with arguments that led to tears. we would always talk it out and there things were back to normal. But in my third trimester i saw that things got worse he would go out and i would stay home. Of course it was already 11pm and ill be too tired of even thinking of being out in the streets. as November and December were the worse i would always be sad and upset that he wasn’t there for me anymore. my due date was December 24, 2011 but my baby decided to be a late baby.
New years came and i should have seen it my baby daddy so called husband lost interest in me i thought it was just me who saw things. i would always see messages from some girl calling him baby and always texting her. on January 2, 2012 i was admitted to the hospital to induce my labor due to my water was lowering causing my baby to have less space in my womb i decided to stay in the hospital for his safety.
Now let me say my stay at the Hospital was the worse yes he was their but i didnt feel like he was there with me. i thought it just had to do with my contractions. On January 4th 2012 i was told that i was already 9 cm 1/2 dilated 100% effaced and that my baby was big and too high up and if it was going to be a vaginal virth that he could posibly get stuck on his way out.
I had to have an emergency Csection. baby boy Israel Nathan 8lb 5oz i should have seen it coming. Seeing my baby for the first time and i felt no conection. but when they let me hold him he meant everything to me. my hospital stay was for 3 days. i’ll say my recovery was pretty quick. on Saturday the 7th we were sent home. The first week was horrible my pain from the incision hurt so bad and i felt like i couldn’t do anything for my newborn.
2 weeks postpartum and my husband told me he wanted a break that he didn’t love me anymore that he needed time to think. i found some pictures he took with a girl kissin her. and it took me 3 days to actually realise that he had found a replacement for me. that day i left the house and went to my parents house to stay there posibly forever.
1 week and half passed and an accident happened my Brother shot someone in the leg and the people he hung out with said that the other guys wanted revenge on him so my brother decided to runaway and never come back. its been 4 days and i really do miss him he was their for me when i most needed him and now hes gone. for my babys and my safety i had to go back to my husband’s home. i told him about the situation and he said he’ll care about us and protect us.
To his family we’re “married” but were just friends. i feel like he’s never going to be in a relationship with me ever and that we’re never going to be a happy family. i’ve cried almost everyday thinking that if i wasn’t here i wouldn’t be so confused. now i really do love him and want to be with him. yes we still kiss and hug but does he do that because he has feelings for me or is he using me.
i’m only 18 and i’ve had a pretty messed up past. will this get better? is he going to want to be mine again? i’m so scared. please i need advice do i move on now? or wait for him?
You are the most beautiful site I have ever laid my eyes on. Your green eyes see straight through mine and melt my little heart. You are my bad ass sweet heart and I will be your little gypsy girl forever. I love you, with all of my heart, body, mind and soul. Every night I spend in your arms I feel a world of comfort holding me close. And in the mornings when I see your sleepy face I want to cry happy tears. A million years could pass and these feelings would only grow stronger. You are mine and I am yours. My love for you is unconditional and everlasting. I coudn’t be luckier, couldn’t be happier. You’ve made all of my dreams come true.
