If only you knew how complicated my mind is. I often do wonder if you see what is inside my head. Yes, you have been there when I needed you which I am so grateful for. But, you will never understand how this depression gets to me. It feels as if I am losing myself bit by bit, and I am slowly fading away.
I have lost a drastic amount of weight, and you can clearly notice by how my bones are sticking out more than normal. I know it makes you worried, but I want you to know this is not intentional. Yes, I do want to be skinnier, but I don’t want to do it by not eating. This depression has literally been eating away at me.
Sometimes I do wonder if your life would be better off without me, which is probably why I have been trying to end our relationship so often. But, you keep holding on which, yes means so much. But, I just do feel like you’re better off without me.
You know the feeling of where you just feeling everything is falling apart, and people could do better off without you? Yeah, I feel like this every day. I’m even on medication for it, but some days it cannot take away the feeling of taking my own life. I’m trying to get better because the demons inside my mind are eating me alive.
Sometimes I wonder so many things.. If only you knew.