To me you were love at first sight. You were everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. You love God, you’re tall, and you have an amazing character. You love your family and your country. You have standards that won’t be broken. You won’t even KISS until committed.

Me, I’m dirty. I’m broken. I hate my home, where I live. I’m used and cracked. I’m angry and tired. All I have is the grace of Christ. That’s all I can cling to for worth, and really, I am nothing.

Would you be my Boaz? Would you take in a washed up mess as your own? Love me though I can’t begin to love myself?

“As Christ Loved the church”, thats a beautiful thing, But I don’t want to stay in my destruction, I want to heal, I WANT to be Beautiful. I just don’t know how.

If I cannot let Christ work in my heart to change my actions, how can my husband trust me to stay always faithful, always loving?

Help. I can’t do it on my own. But I know the abandonment that would come from the truth told, the withdrawl from my friends. “She did what?” “Hopeless I’d say”

This path I’m on is long and winding and the headlights of my car only stretch a few feet ahead of me, but I’ll make it to my home one day or another. I’ll just keep moving and learning and changing and I’ll get there and I’ll breathe easy again. It’ll Just take time.