Despite how much I’ve tried to analyze everything that has happened this past semester, the bottom line is: I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m completely lost. As much as I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m ok with us possibly not being friends anymore, that’s clearly not true. I guess I’ve finally come to the resolution that I do still want you in my life, but only if you want me in yours. And actually in your life, not the bullshit that our “friendship” has been for the past four months. It’s not worth me trying to figure out why this happened anymore, as long as we can back to being how we were. I’ll forgive you for making my semester miserable, for not being there for me when I needed you more than anything, for essentially being an awful friend. I’m just asking, begging you to make it up to me now, but I don’t know if you’re willing to give it a shot again. Maybe because us trying this means that we’re going to need to talk about things that you don’t want to talk about. But that’s what true friends are for: making us uncomfortable and pushing our limits. I guess maybe I haven’t done that enough for you. I don’t know anymore. I just know that these next few months/years are going to be really hard for me, but I also know that having you on my side will make it a lot easier. So please, just talk to me if I call you. Respond to my text messages, and maybe even initiate something with me for once in a long time. I’m not asking for you to pity me because I’ve learned that I don’t need you in my life anymore, but I’ve also learned that I do still want you. And maybe, I can be for you what I was before: someone who was always there for you when no one else was, which is something you seem to have forgotten. Please just remember what we were and realize that our friendship is something that really should be a lifelong thing, no matter how many ups and downs we have. Those ups and downs happen because I actually care enough to always want to be close to you, and that pushes you away, for whatever reason, which is clearly something we need to talk about that you don’t want to do. So just talk to me. Give me some sort of new beginning, or ending if that’s how it has to be. Remember what we had. Realize that you miss it and want it back too. Let us begin our lives together again. But all of this involves you doing something, and I’m still at a loss of what to do to get you to do something…