Enlightened
by admin • December 19, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 3 Comments
I get it now. I’m never going to be the one who makes you change. I’m never going to be the one who makes you want to settle down. That’s fine. We’re young so I can’t be mad at you for wanting to enjoy life to the fullest. As much as it hurts me that there’s no way of knowing if i’ll even speak to you again, I know I’ll be fine. I spent the greater part of our “relationship” holding you up to an impossible standard and then making excuses for you when you failed to meet my expectations. I never really stopped to think that you taught me more than anyone I have ever known. I want to be with you so badly. I want to sneak into your room and watch movies late at night and drink wine and feel your body heat against mine. I want to be mad at you but not able to resist you at the same time. I want to spend hours picking out the perfect outfit, even though regardless of how I look you tell me I’m gorgeous. I want to force myself to get out of the car when you drop me off in the morning after the perfect goodbye kiss. I spend so much time focusing on what I want. When I should be focusing on what I need. I need to let you go. I need to find someone who wants me and only me. I need to realize that you taught me how to be close to someone. You taught me the real meaning of intimacy. You taught me how to love. Unconditionally. Meaning that today I just want to put it out into the universe that I love you. I no longer care if you love me back. I care about you more than you will probably ever know but it doesn’t matter if you do or not. It feels so good to have the capacity to really love someone and I think that is the reason that you came into my life. I learned patience, empathy, responsibility… It took hearing from you that I should follow my dreams and now I really feel like I’ll be okay in life. I feel the most stable I have ever felt. Thank you so much. Thanks for taking the time to let me learn how to love someone the right way. I hope that you find a girl that opens your eyes the way you have mine. I hope you realize that your friends and family really love you and that you’re not alone. If that’s the reason you’re out there everyday searching for something more than I hope you find some peace in the realization that you don’t have to try. There are people out there, just like me, who just love you. Plain and simple. Unconditionally. If I get the chance and you walk back into my life, I won’t hesitate to thank you. For now I’ll just put my love out there for someone else to stumble upon. Enjoy your moments.

These are the exact thoughts that have been going through my brain for weeks.
I could have written this myself. It’s comforting to know that there are people out there feeling things the way i feel them. Sometimes i feel silly, but than i read the posts on here and my mind is set at ease. “Enjoy your moments”… well put.
It’s days like today that make me come back and read this over and over again. I get over whelmed but being able to touch base with how clear my head was at one point in time brings me back. LINS has been a life-saver or maybe more of a life-line but i think that’s what we all need sometimes
thanks y’all.