• Baby you’re killing me. I’m so sorry.

    by  • December 18, 2011 • To You • 0 Comments

    When I am with you I feel the earth stop moving. Nothing exists- the moment isn’t real. I can feel the vines intertwining invisible one heartbeat one breath one existence. I find myself praying to a god I don’t believe in that the moments real….I find myself writhing in desperation wanting you to touch me…. wanting you to be by my side. I can feel your disappointment that i didn’t come clean. Baby I’m young you know that now. I stretch exaggerate what i don’t want you to know but i can feel you found out. I can feel it in my chest and i can’t breath. You checked up on me. Please forgive me. one more chance one more time overlook my flaws just for today. I want you. I don’t know why but i do. Your the first person to say i am beautiful and I felt mean it…. your the first boy i have seen more than once not trying to get something or to gain…..the first person i didn’t want to see me just for sex…. baby i have done allot of stupid things, the stupidest was lying to you. But now when i am with anyone else anyone at all i find myself imagining you. Everyone thinks something’s wrong with me. Suddenly I don’t want to go out I want to be curled up in your bed. Under a canopy of black. I don’t want my friends I want to be with you and in 4 months…. 4 fucking months…… I can be… that’s why I waited to tell you. That’s why. You’re wrong about me going to the high school dance though I know you think I did but that’s not what happend. not at all i stopped in for a few mins to get Lina she was there and she was drunk baby thats all that wasn’t a lie. I am just a small sad little girl baby. I’m messed up. Baby people are so confused they don’t know when I stopped being a slut. It was cause of you. I never like people. I just like feeling wanted- I like presents… I like power…. I don’t like people- but i like you…. I don’t know what to say but the thought of you not forgiving me buries me a thousand miles beneath the ocean. Without you there’s no point to my existence. even if we aren’t together. even if you fuck a lot of other girls. I’ll stop baby i don’t want to have sex with anyone but you. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. when I’m with you I’m alive. I’ll pray to god tonight Maybe losing you will be my punishment for everything I have done. Karma’s a bitch and it’s been hitting me hard lately for being jealous of my best friend. for being mean to my mom. for using people even though they were using me. I don’t know but please….. one more chance….. one more chance is all I need…….because without you I can’t breath….. without you I can’t sleep… I can’t eat …. I can’t live……. I like you

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