• How do I let go

    by  • December 13, 2011 • Resentment • 0 Comments

    How do I let go?? of the anger?? of the fear?? of the hate?? How do I move on with my life when I can’t see anyplace to go? Almost half of my life was spent with you and I let you wipe out “me”. After 21 years, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know how to get back to being “me”. I don’t know how to get that sense of myself back. I can remember a time when I knew that I was a good person. I knew that I was self-sufficient. I knew that I could love and that I was lovable. Now, I don’t feel any of that. And it hurts. Terribly. How do I ask for help? You never allowed me to ask for anything and it’s hard to change these behaviors that have become so ingrained in me. Why won’t you just get this settlement over and done with??? Why do you want to keep hanging on?? I know you don’t want to give up any of your “things” because your “things” are the most important thing to you. But dammit……..I want this over!! The divorce was final over a year ago but I feel like I can’t move on with my life until the settlement is done. Give it up! Just give it up so that I can feel like you are completely OUT OF MY LIFE!! I do not want you in my life!! I don’t want to have to think about you or have to deal with your bullshit. I just want to move on!!

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