It hasn’t been easy for us. You were whole-heartily against a relationship and I am the jealous type. When you couldn’t come back to school, it killed both of us.
So, we broke up for whatever justification you had in your head at the time. You didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship. You didn’t want to try it anymore. You were done and there was nothing I could do about it. But you weren’t done and neither was I. We are still together, but not “together” together. And it’s hard for other people to understand, hell, it’s hard for me to understand.
Half the time I want to spend the rest of my life with you, half the time I’m scared. We keep talking about you coming back to school and living together and being together again. But I don’t know if that’s what I want yet, and I think that you’re just kidding yourself. If you can’t be with me when we’re only a few hours apart, why do you think that you want to be with me so much that you want to live together?
A few days ago I saw an ex of mine. We’ve been talking ever since you and I broke up, and it was nice to see him. I felt like I did before I met you. I almost kissed him, but I didn’t at the last second. Because of you, because everything I do has something to do with you.
Because I love you and I can’t see myself without you. I know that we’re scared, I know that we’re young and we have statistics against us. We don’t know what we want, and we can’t control everything. We are afraid to fail.
We still can be great, I think. We just need to stop being so damn scared.