• dear best friend

    by  • November 29, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 0 Comments

    dear best friend,

    i did it again. i know i shouldn’t have. i know i should called you because i promised i would call you if i ever cut again, but i’ve been feeling so neglected by you that i was thinking bitterly that you probably wouldn’t even pick up. and what would you say, if you were having a perfectly fine day and then you picked up the phone and there i was, crying, saying i’d done it again. there would be nothing you could do. i know i promised that i’d be good, that i’d take care of myself while you are gone, but i never realized the distance would be this final. i thought you were going to stay in touch. if you were still here then you would come over and make me feel better and i wouldn’t do it anymore. but you’re gone and happy to be gone. i thought about giving all my knives to you, but that would just be impractical. and when you came to visit, i thought it would be great to see you, but something felt off. you kept saying, “it feels so weird to be home,” and i thought it was your fault for pointing it out. When my sister comes home from college it takes a while to get used to her being home, but your visit was so short that i didn’t have time to get over the initial awkwardness. and then you left again, and i feel so abandoned…

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