• A Journey of Songs

    by  • November 29, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 2 Comments

    Dear S,

    It was really hard at first. I cried the first few nights you were gone.. I was utterly miserable, and I wanted nothing more then to text you, talk to you, hug you.
    (Need You Now by Lady Antebellum)

    I started to hope you were missing me. Actually, I was pretty sure you did. I was still missing you hardcore.. But I knew you must be hurting too.
    (You’ll Think of Me by Keith Urban)

    It’s finally getting easier. We stopped talking… Oh, probably two weeks ago. In the past, I’ve caved in, texted you. I haven’t this time. I’m not saying I don’t want to. Because, oh god, I do. I miss you so much. Once you caved in and texted me. Part of me is hoping you will again. But another part of me just wants you gone, like you are.
    (Gone Forever by Three Days Grace)

    Even though I was accepting that you were gone, and embracing it, I knew I wasn’t over you. But I also knew that I wouldn’t ever, ever tell you that. I wouldn’t admit it, because it would be way better this way, in the long run.
    (Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw)

    I think you’re a great guy. Amazing in fact. Staying friends with me would have compromised you emotionally. You have a girlfriend, and it isn’t my place to ruin that. I don’t want to ruin you.
    (The Good Left Undone by Rise Against)

    I think, when I left, I might have broken your heart, or maybe cracked it a little. My amazing, amazing, probably best friend… And I broke your heart.
    (So Nice So Smart by Kimya Dawson)

    But with how I am, I simply wouldn’t be good for you. I know that I probably hurt you when I left, but I would have just hurt you more in time. I told you I was a bit dark, a bit shady. I told you I was sketchy, and hurting. I told you that in time, you might see the real me, but I didn’t want to show you. You said you wanted to help me. But you left first, before I left the final time.
    (Monster by Skillet)
    (Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace)

    And actually, I tried to help you, too. But every time, you would block me, and I would end up hurt. As if it was my fault that you refused to let anybody help you.
    (Scars by Papa Roach)

    I have come to the realization that you never really gave me any sort of priority. I would hold my breath for you to text me all day. You almost never did. When you said to come see you, I would drop everything to go see you. When I got there, you would ignore me. I would ask for you to come see me. Nope. Zero. Zilch. I had a couple really bad nights. You blew me off.
    (Since U Been Gone by A Day to Remember)

    While on a level I’m glad you’re gone, I still miss you. So badly. But we can’t be near each other without wanting to be together, and we can’t. We would clash terribly. You’re too cryptic and it would drive me crazy. I’m a little too clingy, bipolar, and crazy for you.
    (With or Without You by U2)

    It hurts so much.
    (Pain by Three Days Grace)

    I miss you.
    (Snuff by Slipknot)

    Love,
    -J

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    2 Responses to A Journey of Songs

    1. ANEWDAY
      November 30, 2011 at 5:40 am

      I love this




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    2. ANEWDAY
      November 30, 2011 at 5:41 am

      I’m sorry you had to go through this.




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