Don’t know what comes to my mom’s mind who engaged me with my ex. All my marriage time was waste in praying for his sponsership and his persent in Canada. 8 years passed in waiting, all the pain and hard time which his family gave me during his upsence were useless. The love, the tears and the night mares plus waiting were just waste of my life and energy. (Ex)You never knew how much I loved you and How much I did for you. All a sudden, when you reached to Canada, you kicked me out of your life and you didn’t even give a chance to explain my pain to you. It wasn’t only you, but the entire your family who destroyed my life. You took my happiness, the dream I had seen for our wedding, the shopping I had done for your arriving was wasted. I was left behind with stress and broken heart. Why you did this to me? If you wanted to use me you, should not played with my heart and feeling. After all, I was the person who just wanted to see you smiling.
After you, I married the guy whom my family totally disaprove of. I thought he is the guy who understood the problem between me and you. He could understand my heart better, have pity and love for me. Unfortunately, he was same shit like you. Though I didn’t want to marry him, I did coz I felt sorry for his struggle to have me. Though he had nothing to live on, I helped and supported him. For the whole year, I worked shoulder to shoulder to him and never asked for a peny. He kept sending money home, spending on his visa and work permite while I completely stopped my shopping and intertainment. Now that I am pregnent and suffering from morning sickness and low blood pressure, I lost my job. He beats me and wants me to leave the house after I drop the baby. He does want the baby for his papers but doesn’t want my sickness.. Oh God I am fed up. I do want to leave the house but he wants the baby even though I am four months preg. I don’t want to kill the inoccent baby. It still have time to develop in my tommy. I do like it coz baby is the only way for me to felt part of my body and out of loneliness. I love you baby so much. I want to live for you. If I die before I deliver you, be strong to overcome problems. Moma loves you all the time. I do love your father, but he only needs my support money wise not me. If I don’t sign the credit and car loan, he is nobody to me. He even tries to kill me. I can’t leave him coz of the stupid culture. People will eat my brain from gossiping that I am a bad luck. My parents don’t support me coz I married your dad without their permission. All I have my tears with me. I do have a hope that one day I will be fine and find a good job to support me and you. It takes time until I recover. I know me and you lost lots of weight, but we still have God and his blessing that me and you are not alone. We have each other. I hope you are a boy not girl. Coz I am a girl and I have suffered alot from marriage. Men can easily walk away from marriage while women hold on to the culture and the pormises. It was my mistake who trusted your dad’s fake love. He never knew how much I cared for him and how much I helped to save him.. bye now ..