• I hate you.

    by  • November 28, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Abuse • 1 Comment

    Even to the day you die you’ll never know just how much you’ve hurt me. Everyday I seriously think Consider ending my life and it’s all because of you. I honestly don’t think you’d care if I killed myself anyway. you’re my own father yet you can’t stand me and tell me almost on a daily basis. I see you once or twice a month and you can’t even talk to me. You’d rather talk to your girlfriend on the phone or go over to her house than spend time with me. When you do talk to me all you tell me is how I’m worthless and how much you can’t stand me, or you’re yelling at me for not doing anything right. It’s impossible to please you, everything i do isn’t good enough and it never will be. I have low self esteem because of you. and because of you most of my childhood memories are of being scared or being hit and thrown around by you. When I think of my childhood I think of terror and pain. And that will never go away for the rest of my life. I constantly have nightmares of that time in my life, and those will never go away either. I’ve cried myself to sleep numerous times because of you. And no matter what i do i can never get away from it. I wonder how it feels to know you’ve honestly ruined someones life. And i dont know why i even keep trying because you’re never going to change. i just keep hoping someday you will. And the worst part is not being able to tell anyone about any of this, because i’m afraid of what you’ll do to me if anyone finds out.

    One Response to I hate you.

    1. Kat
      November 29, 2011 at 9:20 pm

      You should join an online support group. They have them for everything, and you can remain anonymous. I was in a similar situation in the past and the online support group really truly helped me. You are NOT alone, and it definitely helps to talk to others in situations like your own, others that will never judge you. You deserve better. Get as far away from you dad as possible and learn to live a happy, confident, healthy life. It is possible. If you believe it, you can live it. Best of luck.

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