• I hate you.

    by  • November 28, 2011 • Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    Dear, you.

    I hate you for what you’ve done to me. All the things you said and did. Now I’m left here with nothing, while you’re just fine as can be. I’m so sorry if I was sometimes jealous, and asked you what you were doing staying out till 4 in the morning, or why you are still talking to your ex on the phone and facebook. Sorry if I didn’t always wear a smile 24 hours a day, the thoughts of you fucking someone else made it hard sometimes. I gave up my life for you, my family, my job. And now look, I have nothing again thanks to you. You took away my home, my job, your son that I loved more than anything. I’m so fucking hurt and I don’t know why. You’re the one who ruined this relationship, yet I’m the one who is the bad guy? I don’t understand that. You cheated more than once, you lied, you kept me a secret. Your family despised me for whatever reason, I put up with so much just to be with you, and this is how I get treated. Up and gone, leave me hanging in the rain. I hope your freedom to do whatever and whoever is worth it. I hope you’re having a great time, with someone new. I hope he likes my place, and my bed. Ill be stuck here, stuck on you for awhile. I hate you for feeling this way, I’ve never known depression, or anxiety until you came along. Now I’m suicidal, severely depresed, suffer from anxiety attacks where I can’t breathe. And yet I still love you, and want you back. How fucking crazy is that. I hope I get over you. I hope I can breathe again. I hope one day I will smile and say “she never hurt me” look at it as learning, and laugh about the good and the bad. Until then I’m here with all these memories and thoughts of you haunting me every second of the day. I can’t catch a second of peace, you fucking whore how could you do this to me? You’re so over this you say, well it must me be nice…thanks for murdering the person I used to be. I hate you. But most of all I hate myself for hating you.

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