• I’ve always loved you.

    by  • November 27, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 0 Comments

    I don’t know what it is about you that drives me so madly in love with you but at the same time makes me want to kick and scream in rage. I try to be perfect for you and it runs me dry of everything I am. You push me out of my limits and make me strain my emotions until I feel I have none left. You left to Illinois, which I know is not your fault but some days I wish you would just leave so I could see you again. You’re still young and made one grown up decision, that kills me every time you talk about it. You know its not your fault why I get so upset when you talk about it, so why do you insist on pushing me farther? I have experienced a lot more than you think I have and when I tell you about it you decide to shut me out. Then later hold it against me saying I never tell you anything and will never understand what you’ve been through, Darling, I won’t ever know and understand and I get that, but who has been here through all of it? We don’t have a day that goes by where we don’t fight over stupid little things that don’t matter. Why can’t you just see how much you hurt me when you say stupid things you know you don’t mean? Why am I the only one who apologizes? The only time you have ever said the word “sorry” is when you were being sarcastic. I just wish I could crawl back into your arms and cry like I used to be able to. I need you more than you want to ever think. This is only my side of the story and I know if you ever knew this you would say ” You make this out to be my fault. ” Sweetheart, I am not a bad person. I care more about everyone else than I do myself. And maybe this isn’t your fault, but the least you could do is make it easier on me. Three years is a long time for teenagers, and we have probably been through more than most 6 year couples. You leaving to Iraq, getting injured, coming back to the death of one of my family friends, car crashes, break-ups, make-ups. Before you think this is some game you can play when convenient make sure you have someone to go to, because dammit, I don’t think I can take being ” Plan B ” again.
    – Trust, Love, and Rockets,
    Your’s Truly.

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