• For All Of You

    by  • November 27, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 0 Comments

    Dear All,
    I want to make tell you a story, a story that has never been heard nor will it ever be acknowledged. Everything that has happened to me has been kept in the dark. It is a memory that hides in the past and it will always stay there. For all of you who think I’m so damn perfect and happy, well I’m not. I never was and I never will be. I fell in love at the wrong time and with the wrong person. Maybe I don’t matter and I don’t want to and I’m not complaining. What I am saying is that I’m sick of all you whining to me about how damn perfect I am. How my life is perfect in every aspect and how smart I am. Well I’M NOT. I am broken and I should get help. I look at myself in the mirror and find myself disgusted, my stupid sister complains about her boyfriend like I give a damn. I feel like everyone hates me just as much as I hate myself. I want to throw up and stop eating. I want to never ever be compared to perfection. I just want to die. Be away from it all. I lost my baby at a young age, and I will never recover from the loss. I have someone special in my life and I can’t seem to come around to love them. I have friends who tend to leave me in the background, a family who pretends they can’t see the issues. I just can’t seem to come around to loving my self. So for all of you who think I’m perfect and try to hurt me because you see me happy, well guess what I’m not and I’m one step away from showing you how gravely I’m broken.

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