• Confused…

    by  • November 27, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 0 Comments

    I am so confused right now. Everything that I thought I knew is starting to mean nothing. Or is it? I have a boyfriend that loves me with everything he has. Why am I thinking of you instead of him? I was truly in love with you and have not been truly in love with someone since you. You are my best friend. You are the one my soul longs for. Sometimes I wish I could express this to you, but it just wouldn’t make sense. You have a girlfriend (again) and for the first time, I’m actually okay with that. I love her. She’s adorable. But, even though I love her, it is slowly eating away at me. You look at her the way you used to look at me. Sometimes I wish I was her. Just so your eyes could look into mine in the way they once did or I could feel your breath as it warmed my neck during a loving embrace. I feel as though God wants me to marry you. Crazy. Confusing. Ridiculous. Right now I feel the shivers up my spine just thinking about that. This isn’t worth me being miserable. You’re away at college right now and I’m stuck here. Don’t get me wrong, I love my boyfriend. He is one of my dearest friends and he means the world to me. I’m just not in love with him like I was with you. I want that incredible, breath-taking love again. I want to feel that overwhelming sensation of love being poured out of my very being for someone. I wish I could tell you all of this. I wish you would understand if I did. I wish I meant more to you and you weren’t so distracted with this new girlfriend of yours. Maybe I’ll just continue waiting. Good things come to those who wait, right? I guess I’ll just have to wait and see…

    I love you.

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