I miss you. Why don’t you want to meet up like I do? It’s been 4 months.
We have memories. Stupid, immature memories that always make us laugh like idiots. But maybe that’s all we have now. In fact, what am I saying? We have nothing now. Nothing except that we go to the same university and live a maximum of 2 miles away from each other.
2 miles, and we can’t even meet halfway.
We haven’t even gone out together here. What kind of best friends don’t go out together?
I get it. I get that you have a boyfriend now. I get that your friends are really cool and they don’t think I’m good enough to associate with you.
But… I had a boyfriend last year. And even then the longest we went without seeing each other was 3 weeks. It’s been 4 months. 4 MONTHS.
Do you have any idea what I’ve been through in these 4 months? Any idea? I’ve been hurt, betrayed, depressed, wanting to give up and leave here and run as far away as I could. And I remember once when I was in tears I wanted to talk to you, because you were my friend, and you were here. And I called, but you didn’t pick up.
You never pick up. Or text back. Or leave a message.
And it hurts so much, because I know that you’re a lovely person, and don’t mean any harm. You probably don’t realise how much I care. You probably just think I’m carrying on like you are. But I’m not doing as well as you, and I want your support. I want to tell you everything. The idea that you don’t want me in your life like I want you in mine makes me feel so lonely. We grew up together, and were there for each other like I’m not sure your friends here would understand.
I listen to Kate Nash now. We play some of her songs at work and I decided to download her albums. And then I remember how much you loved her, and I think of you.
We used to be best friends, but now even if we did meet up I wouldn’t know what to say, or where to start. I’m worried I’d burst into tears and you’d wonder what the hell you were doing here with me when you could be elsewhere.
4 months. Where are you? 🙁