I may never know how you feel, and whether or not we could have worked. But i know that i will always love you. I made the wrong choice. But it’s been years and i can’t grudge it. I still have you as a best friend, and i also have someone who loves and cares for me. I love you both. i didn’t ever want this. But i can’t let you go to move on completely. i need you in my life.
I don’t think i’ll ever stop loving you and i suppose that’s why i keep having these thoughts. The thoughts that once everything is said and done, we will meet again in later life after drifting apart, and we will discover what we should have all along, just the distance held us back.
but then again we could drift and i could be off to somewhere the other side of the world with the thoughts of you still there. I’m not sure which one i prefer.
For now i’ll see you a couple of times a year and you’ll see it in my face when i look at you. and then i’ll go back home and try to forget those feelings again.
I hate myself for those feelings.
sometimes i wish i never met you but then again, if i hadn’t of met him we probably would have been together anyway, whether it worked or not is a different question completely but you chose not to make the move and i came back home and had no other choice.
So many things running through my head when i think about all this.
“you are my disaster, i can’t stop chasing after” seems to sum it up pretty well though.