You truly are a man of smooth words. I starting to fall for you again. I can’t though, I love my boyfriend. You have a girlfriend and others that like you, so why me? Why do you choose me to aim all the power and love towards? You know I’m a softie for that stuff. I had a feeling at a point that if I was not with Devon I would have not broken up with you. We’d still be good together..but that’s the past. And then after you said all these nice things about caring about me and everything, you fuck up the moment. Go on about saying if you want this new girl or your gf. Not only that but your decision was made by “well, they’re both good sexually and I guess pretty..” then I had to decide which one you should choose to fuck. I can’t go back to that..that monster/pig. I don’t want you. Yes, I still have feelings for you, but I’m not going somewhere that plenty of girls have already been. “You go on, and I’ll be happier.” I know I say that you shouldn’t kill yourself and I’d kill myself for you or if you killed yourself, which I would do in a heartbeat. But, sometimes I feel if we didn’t meet those couple of weeks before school, none of this would’ve happened. Things happen for a reason I guess. I should’ve just let you love my bestfriend. She wouldn’t have done this to you. I was selfish and not thinking. And if we would’ve stayed together, you’d be a lot better person. Not a pothead, drinker, pillpopper..you’d be just fine. I’m sorry for that. Now, it’s my time to help you heal enough to get you back on your feet. Not too much that we fall for each others again though. That’d be bad. Just enough for you to be the kind of person I met for the first time. We both know, that Preston is gone and won’t be back. It’s worth a shot though.
“I love you this big”,