• This is wrong.

    by  • November 25, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 2 Comments

    Yesterday, you were telling me about how the boy you liked and you were being sweet yesterday. I just smiled, and said I was happy for you.

    I AM happy for you. I really am.

    But I can’t shake this feeling.

    I’m jealous of you. I’m jealous that YOU’RE the one who’s happy now, almost in a relationship.

    How come when I’m single, all people around me are all happily in relationships? And when I’m in a relationship, all the people around me are all happily single?

    It’s not fair. I want to be happy too. I know this will sound selfish, but I deserve to be happy too.

    You were the only who said you were sick and tired of his (let’s name this guy Daniel) being an asshole, and you told me to let go of him once and for all.

    I agreed, and acted like I had let Daniel go already. But I didn’t. I still love him so much. You’re not me, you don’t feel what I feel when I was with him the year before. It was just perfect. I can’t even describe it anymore.

    Just your simple opinions won’t change mine. Just because we’re best friends, doesn’t mean that you can make my choices for me.

    You said you didn’t want to hear a single thing about Daniel any longer, so I stopped talking to the one person who I could talk about those things with: You.

    Yes. You’re the only person who TRULY listens. And now, you’ve asked me to cut it out, because it was annoying you.

    When you talk about this guy, (let’s name him Nick), you always expect me to be all hyper and happy for you.

    But I told you before, didn’t I? I liked Nick too.

    If this is what you were feeling when I was with Daniel before, I’m sorry. But please, stop saying ‘HE HELD MY HAND YESTERDAY, HE MUST BE INTO ME!!!!’

    Just shut up about Nick already. Can’t you see how much it hurts? You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to see past this stupid fake act that I’m putting up.

    Just please. See past what I’m doing and help me.

    Please.

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    2 Responses to This is wrong.

    1. Angel
      November 26, 2011 at 12:54 am

      You sound like me, lol. Except for as of today, I have released any love I have ever felt for “Daniel”.

      And “Nick” … yeah, I like that alias name, lol. He is simply my “Nicky”…but he is not mine to have and hold. He will always hold a place in my heart though… just his presence in my life as a friend fills a void my soul has been missing for so long.

      I want more, in ways I’m not suppose to want… but he is with her and she is my best friend and yes, I get to hear about the good things in their relationship but I also get to hear the bad… and neither are good for my soul.




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    2. Alice (The broken girl who wrote this letter)
      November 28, 2011 at 2:59 am

      @ Angel:
      It’s cool to hear from someone who has the same problems as I do right now. I just feel really lost and I don’t know what to feel. But your comment reassured me of the better. There’s always someone better out there for me, and maybe be and “Nick” just really weren’t meant to be.
      So… Thanks. (: You might’ve saved my life.




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