• I’m sorry

    by  • November 25, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Closure • 0 Comments

    I’m sorry. For everything. From the moment I first layed eyes on you to the last time I ever will, whenever that may come. I’m sorry for you, I’m sorry for me, and all the pain.

    I’m sorry I leave early every night and can’t stay to talk hour after hour- I want to. Believe me, I want to with every fiber of my being. No one can miss those lost moments more than I, who will cherish them most.

    I’m sorry I am tired when I wake up again, because it means I am not strong enough to give my utmost to you. I would give anything for you, but for the ability to do so. I must sleep; I cannot go without this. It pains me to say it, but I can live without you. No, I take that back. I can exist. Live? No.

    I’m sorry for all the times I have said things that were wrong, in all the ways they could be: inappropriate, worse inappropriate jokes, awkwardly timed things, bad jokes that weren’t really funny- anything that might have made you think less of me.

    I’m sorry for all the times I have bragged, and you have then seen I was wrong. That I have done what I thought was right, and was wrong. For each time I made myself look like the naïve person I am.

    I am sorry, for each time I have exposed myself to you and allowed you to hurt me.

    I am sorry, in short, for allowing myself to become addicted to the rare pleasures of your existence so that I might be beaten thrice for each reward, and be exposed. I am sorry that you had to be the one to do it to me, because I know it pains you.

    I am sorry. You may, in time, forgive me; I can never forgive myself.

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