• If you only knew

    by  • November 23, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    You know i’m not somebody who can easily talk about how they feel so I thought this would be easier written then said.

    All my life, I’ve been torn apart. By my parents, my friends, the people around me, by people who said I would never be anything. By all the people who have told me no. Every aspect of my life is a struggle, and it seems like almost nothing can make me happy.

    Almost, but then I met you. We were so young, I thought our casual friendship would amount to nothing. I met you when I was 10, and my life has not been the same ever since. I want to tell you that you are my best friend in the whole entire world. And I really mean that. I have never had such a unique connection with anyone other than you, and that haunts me. We met and almost immediately became best friends. We think the same way, we like the same things, we can communicate with looks and i honestly believe that we are the same person. Don’t get me wrong, I love my other best friends to death also. But there is something about you and me that is forever unbreakable. I always thought that way into high school we would get together, and I always had a feeling that we would fall in love and get married. But now, with only one year left of high school, I’m begging to question If i should just tell you the truth.

    I have always loved you, but this year I realized something different.
    Im in love with you. Your beautiful, strong, smart, your the only one who understands everything and the only one who i know that i could tell anything to. Your heart is bigger than anyone in the world, and although you don’t think so, I think that you are gorgeous. You are amazing to me. Im captivated by you. Everything you do is beautiful. I wanted you to know this because I couldn’t stand it anymore. This feeling has torn me up for so long now and It needed to get out.

    What i need to know is if you love me back. The things you have told me are unbelievable. You said that you love me so much, and I would never know how much you love me. You said that I was such an important part of your life. You’ve told me you’ve cried over me. You’ve told me you would never leave me. You asked me to marry you, to live with you, to be by your side. When you tell me these things, nothing else in the world matters. I am happy. There, I am happy.

    Although these past months have been hell, because you have told her some of the same things you have told me. I can’t believe you could do that to me. I thought our bond was something you’d never share with anyone, but i guess i was wrong. So were you lying? just saying that? you have given me hell. I have never been so depressed over something.

    Its because you are my life. I wait for your calls, I cry for you, Id die for you.
    Ive never felt this way for anyone else.
    Im so in love with you its unreal.
    I will always love you, no matter if you choose her.

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