A letter to me.
Keep in mind, you will never be this young again. Your body will never be more supple and powerful, your mind, more awake and aware. Your heart will never be more open and unafraid, and you will never be more alive than you are right now. Enjoy every second. Always know that the people who want to stay in your life will always find a way to do so. Your family loves you, and doesn’t work without you. You need to get strong for them. Starting now, you’re going to fight. You’re going to fight for your family, friends, and yourself. You will grow strong, and you will do whatever it takes to win this battle. Starting tonight, you need to forget what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next. So stop beating yourself up for past mistakes you have made! God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves to easily. It’s tough to find a perfect balance between the two, but guess what? You also weren’t supposed to be perfect either. No matter what anyone thinks or says, you don’t have to try to be perfect all the time. Give yourself a break and stop trying for once! Just let go and free yourself of negative thoughts. Shel Silverstein wrote, “A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely”. I’m not asking you to learn how to control your thoughts, but rather, stop letting your thoughts control you. If you free yourself of those thoughts and invite in enormous amounts of happy thoughts, you will be shining proof that no matter what, things get better. Society messes up your brain a lot. Hopefully by the time you read this you’ve outgrown what society thinks of you, but for a high school girl, you can never please anyone. I hope that when you are reading this in the future, you remember when you tried to hurt yourself. I hope you are thankful you’re here today, whatever day it is. I hope you remember the endless doctor appointments on Wednesday mornings. I hope that when you read this, you realize how much those doctors helped. I hope you remember the nights you felt so broken all you could do was cry. I hope you remember that many times when people asked if you were okay you simply said ‘yes’ because you knew that no one would get it if you tried to explain it. I hope you remember times of no hope, times of laughter, times of tears, times of joy. I hope your battle is won, and that you are strong, If it is not won, I know you’re still fighting hard. I hope you teach yourself many things, and I hope you are pursuing what you want. As of now, I have no idea what I want, only that it makes me happy and will make me want to wake up every morning. I hope you go on adventures, with loved ones, with yourself, in your dreams, in your heart, and on this Earth. And I hope you realize that those adventures are the best way to learn. You will find love and happiness. You will not lose hope. You will fight, you will win, you will shine.