• So concerned about you

    by  • November 22, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Fear • 0 Comments

    N
    We aren’t very close. We never have been. I was absolutely disturbed and depressed when I found out you are dealing with severe depression, cut yourself all over the place and are suicidal.

    I don’t care how close we are, I consider you a part of my family. The fact that your girlfriend and twin brother are good friends of mine doesn’t make the situation any better.

    It makes me so disgusted that no one on the team acts like they care. The fact that no one seems to be doing anything about it shows their immaturity and unawareness of the severity of your problems.

    I want you to know that even though I’ve gone away to school, you can always confide in me. I know where you’ve been. I have been in therapy for 5 years for severe anxiety. I used to be severely depressed. I am around suicidal kids who self harm all the time. I know the pain and emotional numbness you are going through.

    I talked to your girlfriend about her cutting. She said I was the only person, other than you, that seemed to even care at all. Like it was not a big deal. I couldn’t believe this – I wanted to cry for the both of you. I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

    I’m concerned for your brother. I want to hug him and get him to open up to me. I know he won’t do that though; he’s a tough case to crack. I tried telling him that I’m here and that I do have some level of understanding if he ever needed a reference or someone to talk to. He wasn’t very responsive, but i think I got through to him. Or I hope. I know how hard this has been on him as he’s failing his senior year because of it. I’m sure of that.

    It makes me sick to learn that these three people who have always been happy, silly and energetic to me are suffering like this. I can feel your pain, and I’m scared of what will happen if no one continues to do anything about this. I don’t know what to do, though.

    Reading this makes me cry. Just know that I’m feeling sick for you and I’m so concerned. Even if I’m the only one (that includes your mom – wow, what a bitch). I want to help you, and I hope that things turn around and you get the right type of help. I am going to continue to worry and try and intervene, because even though I don’t want to be invasive to your private life, I know exactly what path this is going down, and you need to be dug out before it’s too late.

    I’m looking out for you and thinking about you. I really want you to know this. I want to make the numbness go away – I know how vile it feels to be emotionally numb. I also want you to know that there are people that care. I am definitely not the only one. You have people that love you, N – speak out.

    Love always, H

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