• Fears, Secrets, & Confessions.

    by  • November 21, 2011 • Confession • 0 Comments

    I want to write a letter of all my fears & secrets & confessions. So I guess I shall because I want it out there, in the open, even if its just strangers reading it.

    Spiders-they have too many legs.
    Heights-from buildings & ladders. I guess it’s ironic that I’m a pilot.
    Not growing old with a bf.- I’m 20 yrs old & have been single my entire life, i have slept with guys & made out with them, but I’ve never had one to call my own. & no, i’m not bi or les, women in fact gross me out.
    the dark-its mainly because I can’t see what’s happening.
    Deep water-I hate not being able to see the bottom.
    Aliens.-I know they’re out there, I just hope we’re not made into slaves, or that they kill all of man kind even though we are evil (in general).
    Missing out on my niece’s & nephew’s lives while they’re still innocent.-Due to many things, I’ve only been around them for the first few years.
    Losing people.-I hate knowing that people feel like there’s nothing left to life, so they take their own lives.
    What God will say when I try to get into heaven, if he exists.-I’m not really sure where I stand on the view about God.
    Losing my parents-As much as I don’t want to live with them anymore, I hate knowing that I’ll lose them forever one day, I won’t know what to do without them.

    I really do hope he’ll marry the girl he’s with & wisens up.-I hate being the other woman. I don’t let him touch me anymore. 🙂
    I want kids, as much as I say I don’t want them I do.- I’m scared but if I’m with someone I love, then yes, I do really want to have his child(ren).
    Sometimes, I think I’m not worth being friends with.-All my friends have more things than I do, & I think they’re just being nice by hanging out with me.
    I want to find a guy who gets along with me as good as my bro-in-law.-We have a lot in common, but he’s like a brother.
    I miss talking to friends.-Ones who can’t talk to me because of their gfs or just because we’ve drifted apart.
    I don’t think I’ll ever be loved by a guy.-I have some unattractive features, that make me think I’ll never be good enough for anyone. Pimples, scars, body hair.

    I hate blacking out.-I know how to handle my drinks but sometimes I go too far & black out, I hate not knowing what happened.
    I don’t like toes, ears or noses.-I find them really weird.
    I was happy when the hot guy from my small hometown started talking to me, & then we hooked up.- I know it’s shallow, but for once, I felt sexy.
    I dumb myself down around certain people.-I am smart, & I have quite the vocab but around certain people I dumb myself down so I won’t be made fun of.
    I miss playing the piano.-I’ve only learned a bit for highschool music class but it’s the only instrument I’ve ever really tried with. I’d loved to have my own.. someday.
    I hate it when people ask the same thing over & over.-You’re not a broken record player, so stop.
    I hate it when people suddenly have the urge to ruin something.- Whether it be a dream, a goal, or just something you’re excited about.
    I hate talking on the phone.-there is only one person I can tolerate talking to for more then an hour even though we sometimes have silences of nothing.

    I guess that’s it for now.. just some things off the top of my head. That was helpful.

    Go ahead & give it a try.

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