• Future?

    by  • November 20, 2011 • Fear • 0 Comments

    We’ve become really good friends, but were more than just friends we are fuck buddies. I care about you a lot, but I see no future for us. I don’t know if it is because of your baby or not. I just see no future. and I wish I could grow up a little and realize that you have a child shouldn’t matter. i guess in my mind the only baby I wanted to be around was mine and my man’s first baby. I mean I don’t know how to handle it. i want you to get custody of her cause it would make you happy and you would make a wonderful father to her.

    I don’t know what’s wrong with Me, I see o issues with the child, maybe I’m just scared. but i keep having these terrible thoughts of just ending everything with you but I don’t want to abandon you and I would miss you so much. I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying. I don’t know why I’m crying. When we bought the stuffed puppy for her I got so upset. I don’t know why. I can’t tell what your feeling when it comes to her. You say you love her and you want to be part of her life and I have to take you word for it.

    My problems probably have nothing to do with the baby or you. I still hut so much after what’s happened. I pictured a future with him, and it was a happy future but he left me alone with a broken heart when I needed a friend the most. I thought I was over it and I’m not and it hurts. after all the pain that’s happened this year I just want it to end I want to die. You’re the reason I’m still hanging on. I couldn’t do that to you. I care about you but I see no future for myself. I see nothing but more pain. I just want to see you happy with your little girl. I don’t think you’re the man in my future but at this point I don’t feel I have a future. I don’t want to hurt you like everyone else has but I don’t know what to do. I wake up every morning and cry cause of what has happened to me and what you’ve been through. i can’t smile cause i don’t ever feel happy anymore.

    I want to tell you i still hurt but it makes me feel weak and I wouldn’t even know how to go about it. I need help I’m scared. I wish you’d talk to me about your daughter hell I wish you’d just talk to me about whatever is going through your mind. Your eyes are so empty and were both so broken.

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