You’re not alone. I know you think you are and I know you just wish it would stop, but how can it? You’re not even trying.
You tell me day after day that you are only an empty shell. You think being depressed is who you are. Is it really? I know you are so much better than that.
I can’t say I know what’s going on in your life. Maybe now is just a stressful time for you. Reality isn’t living up to your expectations and you’ve almost given up on getting your girlfriend to acknowledge you. I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, but this just needs to stop.
You don’t know it, but it hurts to see you like this. I’m scared, I’m worried, and there’s nothing I can do but be here for you. The only thing that’s getting in the way is you.
It’s not an easy thing to see. Even your brother, with whom I know you don’t have much of “brotherly love” with, is worried. And that is unusual.
So please, stop this. Stop thinking about how much your life sucks. Stop thinking about how everything has just gone downhill because it hasn’t. It’s just you that’s changed. And it’s only you that can take the steps and start looking at a different angle.
You can only find it if you’re looking for it.