• Your Ex-Lover is Dead

    by  • November 18, 2011 • Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    First off, I’d like to say,
    Fuck you.

    Fuck you-
    For breaking me down. It’s to the point where I have to pretend to have no emotions. You haven’t talked to me in over six months, but if you had, you’d know that I’m not the same person. I can’t cry anymore. I can’t let people in anymore. I can’t be my own true self. Anymore.

    Fuck you-
    For ditching me. I booked our hotel. Do you know how embarrassing it was to cancel? To tell call the desk and say that I would no longer need my reservation? My face was red, even on the phone. Never have I felt so. Alone.

    Fuck you-
    For telling me you loved me. You dragged me on for almost two years. I wrote you postcards and letters and sent you little gifts. I didn’t care that we were hundreds of miles apart. In my mind, because we were in love, we were. Together.

    Fuck you-
    For not remembering. All I wanted was to tell you Happy Birthday. To send you an olive branch. To tell you I forgive you. And to wish you well. But you deleted me. Out of sight, out of mind.

    Am I out of my mind?

    Regardless, I’m trying to move on. I found someone new. Rather, he found me. And he doesn’t make fun of me when I’m goofy or when I want to dance at random. In fact, he dances with me. I’m not in love- not yet, but I know that as I am falling for him, it will be difficult. Because I’ve never loved anyone like I loved you.

    I’ll send you the news. From the house down the road. From real love.

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