First off, I’d like to say,
For breaking me down. It’s to the point where I have to pretend to have no emotions. You haven’t talked to me in over six months, but if you had, you’d know that I’m not the same person. I can’t cry anymore. I can’t let people in anymore. I can’t be my own true self. Anymore.
For ditching me. I booked our hotel. Do you know how embarrassing it was to cancel? To tell call the desk and say that I would no longer need my reservation? My face was red, even on the phone. Never have I felt so. Alone.
For telling me you loved me. You dragged me on for almost two years. I wrote you postcards and letters and sent you little gifts. I didn’t care that we were hundreds of miles apart. In my mind, because we were in love, we were. Together.
For not remembering. All I wanted was to tell you Happy Birthday. To send you an olive branch. To tell you I forgive you. And to wish you well. But you deleted me. Out of sight, out of mind.
Am I out of my mind?
Regardless, I’m trying to move on. I found someone new. Rather, he found me. And he doesn’t make fun of me when I’m goofy or when I want to dance at random. In fact, he dances with me. I’m not in love- not yet, but I know that as I am falling for him, it will be difficult. Because I’ve never loved anyone like I loved you.
I’ll send you the news. From the house down the road. From real love.