• I’ll Never be Enough

    by  • November 18, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 0 Comments

    Shayne,

    How do i even start. For three long years you’ve been using me. We first met in eighth grade science. I knew from the minute i saw you you’d impact my life in a big way. Second quarter we were assigned seats by each other. That’s how everything began. We were just cute friends to start. Then you started texting my best friend Allison. That sucked. You guys had a “thing” but it was okay because we were friends. Then Valentines day you had us both convinced you were going to ask her out. But curve ball, you start dating Rachael instead. We didn’t even know you talked to her. A month later our friendship starts to turn into more. After of month of asking me who i liked and me saying “i’ll tell you, if you tell me,” you finally cracked. You admitted to liking me. And i could finally tell you how i felt. Eventually after so much drama we ended up together. Our first kiss left me shaking. The first time you said you loved me left me breathless. Everything about our relationship was perfect. We were SO unbelievably in love. Everyone was so jealous of our relationship. Then ironic as it is, you go to church camp. You come back and you’ve changed. I know somethings up. You tell me we should “take a break.” After a month of not kissing our holding hands or anything we’ll see if we still like each other. Well after a month you were no longer talking to me. I try to forget you. Start of freshmen year is so hard for me. I am still head over heals in love with you. I cry every night. I miss you so much. I am nothing to you.You see me in the halls and completely ignore me. Then to my disbelief we start talking again. But all you want to talk about is “doing it” I of course go along. You’re talking to me again. i wouldn’t give that up for anything. This goes on for two more long years. Except we now don’t just talk about doing it, we were meeting at my house everytime i was alone. The way you kissed me, the way you touched me, it was like you really loved me. We were secretly in love for so long. the fact that you would never bring me out in public made me feel like shit. Then you started dating Makenzie. It almost killed me. I cried everynight. But i didn’t want to say anything to you, because i couldn’t bear to lose you.When you would stay the night with me, and i’d fall asleep on you. Things couldnt be more perfect. When you’d kiss my forehead when you left in the morning, gently, so you wouldn’t wake me up. Gave me the idea that i meant something. But all i am to you is nothing but i booty call. Its come to the point where you don’t compliment me, don’t ask about my life, its just sex. I can’t live with it anymore Shayne. You’ve completely destroyed any self esteem i ever had. No matter how much i still love you. we can’t keep doing this. I’m not myself anymore. I’m missing out on my life. God do i love you. I just wish you felt the same way.
    Love,
    me.

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