Dear boy who i dont even know anymore,
we’ve known each other for our whole entire lives, 18 years and counting. i know we haven’t always been together 24/7 and gone to the same schools, and i know we have completely different lives, but to be honest, i’ve always viewed you as being there for me. I considered you to be one of my best friends. We have this sense of humor between us that no one really gets, but i loved it. full of sarcasm and whatnot.
When i found out we were going to the same college i couldn’t have been more happier. I was so overjoyed by the fact that i was gonna be going to a school with so many kids and you were one of them, it helped me feel not as scared. You helped me deal with leaving home and knowing it was okay, because i knew you would be there for me…or at least i thought you would be
once we got here i couldn’t wait to go see your dorm and hang out and meet each others friends. and finally, the moment we had both been waiting for, after so many years of being hesitant about it, you kissed me. Believe it or not, i loved every minute of it. I loved the fact that i got to be with you after all those years, it finally felt right.
about a week later i confessed to you how messed up i am at relationships and what not because i’ve been cheated on by someone i trusted, and i told you i wanted to wait before i we sex. That’s when you said a few things that should have been a red flag, “guys cheat on girls when they get bored and want to find something better to do” and “guys are only interested in the chase, once they got what they were looking for they move on”. i thought you were just putting things in perspective to make me feel better, but i never knew you would be the next guy to screw me over. The next night we had sex, only because you said i was beautiful and i trusted you and i thought you could never be like all those assholes, especially since we’ve known each other forever. Well, i was wrong. you didnt talk to me and completely ignored me for an entire week, i was devastated. I didn’t care if you were out hooking up with other girls, i wasn’t your girlfriend and it’s college, i get it. but the fact that you didnt return any of my texts or calls and made me seem like a crazy bitch and then went and told all of your friends things about me just hurt me so much. I trusted you, i told you things that i’m normally not comfortable telling people, i believed you when you said i was beautiful, and looking back i can see how big of lies they all were.
then, once you finally decided to talk to me, you got mad at me for telling everyone we were best friends. you flat out said, “don’t call me that, i’m not your best friend, you don’t know me”. do you know how much of a shock that was? i couldn’t believe it, maybe you were right and i didn’t know you, i didn’t know how much of an asshole you had become and how you have no respect for girls.
so fuck you, this so called “game” that you think you won isnt over yet. you may be in your glory now, but just wait, wait until you come crawling back and then i shut you down. just wait. because you know what, i do know you, and i know that you’ll come back because you think im easy and you can get some. just wait, because thats when i win and its game over.