Hey! I heard about this new antidepressant on the market! — “Him”
WARNING: May cause butterflies in the stomach, heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath. Contact your healthcare professional immediately if you experience waiting around online past midnight, or nausea and/or intense sadness if not taken for a day or two.
You may be at risk for the dangerous untreatable Love if you have an immense desire to sleep next to “Him” in bed at night. Shivers down your spine accompanied with abnormally large grins when thinking about “Him” are uncommon but may be life threatening.
Take with caution if you have a history of awful boyfriends, because “Him” may make you feel like you’re losing your mind and have just been sent to heaven. This may or may not be dangerous; studies have indicated that patients often enjoy this sensation, but others may find it unsettling (which may lead to more serious side effects).
Just a few minutes of “Him” a day are guaranteed to relieve your depression and often make every problem in the world go away!! Including world hunger!! (Just kidding) **Results may vary, no refunds.