• My faith is gone

    by  • November 16, 2011 • Disappointment • 6 Comments

    I’m sorry but everyone sucks.

    I hate people now. I used to be the biggest people person there was. I loved everyone. I’m that girl everybody goes to for advice… seriously, everybody. And i’m always the shoulder to cry on, the girl who takes care of the drunken fool, the girl to make you laugh when you need it. I’ve taken care of broken down drunk girls who absolutely hate me and have caused bull shit in my life. I don’t like to see other people suffer. I never will. I’m the helper. I like that. I want to always be that. If I could be there for everyone, I would.

    For the past couple months i’ve been realizing more and more that it’s true; bad things happen to good people.

    Can everyone please just cut the shit?

    Don’t pretend to be my friend if you don’t want to be. Don’t lead me on if you don’t like me. Don’t invade my privacy and send it to the world. Don’t compliment me if you don’t mean it. Don’t cheat. Don’t steal. Don’t be a bad person. Just stop. It’s so god damn easy to be a bad person, and that’s why everyone does it.

    But then there are a few people who take the high road, live life with all of it’s difficulties that come along with it. The good people. Please tell me more of you exist? I’m losing so much faith.. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    I’m scared. I’ve locked myself up. I’ve been hurt too many times now to ever go back to the person I used to be. I’m pushing myself away from everyone and i’m scared to make new attachments. I don’t trust anyone. And to an extent – this is healthy. But i’m pushing the brink of destruction and I know for a fact, that is not healthy.

    Simply i’ve lost faith in all of you. People in general – you have failed me. This major disappointment deeply saddens me.

    Why can’t more people just try to make other people happy? It makes YOU happy… I truly will never understand how anyone could find satisfaction is ruining someone elses life, stealing someones boy/girl, stabbing someone in the back, intensely lying to someones face.

    Why can’t you just wake up and think, ‘today is going to be a great day. It’s not about me. It’s about the world and the people I love.’

    Get off your damn ass and go do something fantastic for someone who deserves it. Who knows, maybe people will start to do fantastic things for you too.

    6 Responses to My faith is gone

    1. Trina
      November 16, 2011 at 8:48 pm

      I had to write to your note….I feel the exact same way as you!! and that gives me hope, that there may be more like us in the world who just aren’t speaking. 🙂

      Let’s just continue to be who we are, the positive and happy people who are there for those that we love. And let’s not worry about every one else 🙂

    2. Joanna
      November 16, 2011 at 9:43 pm

      I know exactly how you feel. All you can do is hope that after all the bull shit from everyone else, there will be some happiness for you. There are more people like us out there, unfortunately being mean is a much more popular route for people to take these days..
      I hope you find wonderful people who bring as much joy to your life as you bring to others. you deserve it.

    3. Daniel
      November 17, 2011 at 8:31 pm

      I feel exactly like you. I’ve been always the good guy that everybody loves, but I always end up mad and disappointed with people. I have realized that people are mean and selfish. there is no hope. i try to be like everybody else, selfish and all of that, but i just cant. So i guess I’ll be miserable for ever. I hope you find a way to be happy.

    4. JD
      November 18, 2011 at 2:40 am

      Mean and selfish don’t go hand in hand. Do right by others, but don’t make them your priority.

    5. Hayley
      January 16, 2012 at 12:16 pm

      You can’t stop being who you are just because the rest of the world is pathetic and too cowardly to actually become good human beings. That which makes you you, makes you stronger. You are special, unique, and so much better then those who take joy from others’ pain. There may not be a lot of “fixers” in this world but you can bet we make a difference.
      Cheers to happiness.

    6. MMK
      December 7, 2013 at 10:09 pm

      Wow this was a reflection on how I feel about people in general. It’s hard to become a complete person when the odds are against us every day so congrats on your great accomplishment! Be an extraordinary machine that comes back stronger each time good or bad things are thrown your way. I’ve become bitter, shutting myself out from the world but Im working on it.

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