by  • November 16, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Moving On • 2 Comments

    Dear S,

    I was having a great day, no wait, a great couple of weeks, until out of the blue, a text from you. Now I know you said that we were still friends despite everything, and I thought that was what I wanted. To be honest, I really don’t want to hear from you. I don’t want to know what is going on in your life and I don’t want you to know what is going on in my life. I don’t want you to think that I care anymore. I really don’t care anymore. What happened between us was messy. I will not deny that you were a great help to me when I was in trouble. The truth is though, I used you. You were my crutch. I put way too much emphasis on my need for you in my life. I was, and this is going to sound incredibly weird and cringe-y, blinded what I thought was love.

    Now, you can say I’m being dramatic, but you must not have any real idea about how much you fucking hurt me. And I’m not going to try to be your friend anymore, because I don’t think you’re worth it. I don’t think we were ever really friends anyway. I’m still amazed at how, under the pretense of being my friend, you managed to emotionally black mail me. And the best part about it was, you then denied that you did anything wrong. I’m still trying to piece together how I even let myself wind up in that situation – it will never happen again.

    And I don’t really care anymore. And I don’t think you ever really cared that much for me, you just liked the fact that someone really liked you. And then you abused it.

    I want to move on, I am moving on. I think about you less and less each day, and I don’t need a random text from you every now and then to pull me back to where we were 12 months ago. It might be nice for you to be able to think that we are friends and that you didn’t really screw this up as much as I initially made out. But, you know what? You have.

    Keep my apologies – I meant them. I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life with the guilt of thinking this was all my fault. When you actually get right down to the core of this though, the only fault I ever made was to like you in the first place. Which you then used against me for a very long time.

    So, I’m not sorry if I’m abrupt or rude in any reply you get from. You don’t really deserve a reply in the first place.

    LET ME GO.

    2 Responses to LET ME GO

    1. So annoyed
      November 16, 2011 at 11:39 pm

      I got two calls from my ex yesterday. It’s been OVER A YEAR since I talked to him and I so wish he would just leave me alone. But IF I answered he would have had his way with words and SOMEHOW pulled me back in. I understand what your going through and I wish you the best. Stay strong.

    2. ANEWDAY
      November 17, 2011 at 6:50 pm

      same here

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