Is this everything you thought it’d be?
I knew my words would fail me, so I wanted to send you this letter. I hope that you can read it with an open heart, and know that I wish things could have gone differently. Love has no boundaries, no age, no limits, and no answers. Love is something that can’t be described, something that can’t be put into words, love is something uncontrollable, love is something you can’t stop. To find love at a young age, makes me lucky, to find love at all makes me lucky, to have someone to love me back, makes me lucky. Some would say I’m unlucky, unlucky because I lost him, but they are wrong, because I was still lucky enough to experience him, the memories, the hard times, and the good times, and I’m yet still lucky enough to have him around to talk to. Some might say, you wouldn’t do the things I’ve done, if I truly loved him, others would argue that I am human, and humans make mistakes. Some say to let him go, other would say sometimes, by being a friend, is the best way to be close to someone you love. It’s been so many days since him an I have been together, and my feelings still continue to grow for him, as if he never left, as if I had never lost what’s supposed to be mine in the first place. It’s been so many days since I’ve felt complete. That night of wrong, that night of mistakes, goes through my head every day and the day of being left, by someone I loved dearly, that I still love dearly. Forgiven by him or not, I will never forgive myself. I’m still truly hurt by it, and I’m still truly sorry. I know that beginnings are always messy, but apparently so are endings. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss him, and I miss him more and more every day and my heart slowly breaks, little by little although they say time heals everything and I hope it does because I don’t know how much longer I can do this alone. Sometimes I wonder if maybe we’ll ever get back together and then I realize that we’ll never really be over. In a way, that hasn’t changed, but in some way, it has. I don’t think that it’s not that we aren’t meant for each other, I simply think it’s just that maybe we aren’t ready for forever, not yet. I’ve never needed someone in the ways that I need him. For once in my life, I am weak, I am weak where he is strong. I need him; I need him to keep me going. I love him. I love him with my whole heart, and I refuse to let him go. I love him for not only what he is, but for what I am when I’m with him. I love him for his awkward smiles, his sweet yet confused looks, his soft touch, his gentle words, his comfort, as well as his perfection. Some say, people aren’t perfect, but to me, to see past there imperfections, is what makes them perfect, I’m simply the girl who sees his flaws, but values them as much as his strengths. I couldn’t ask for anything more or anything less. I may not have loved him the right way, but it was the strongest way, there is no one that will ever love him in the ways that I have, or in the ways that I do. As you know, that special guy to me is you, sweetheart.