• I have strength now!

    by  • November 16, 2011 • Love - Pure and Simple, To You • 0 Comments

    It’s been 17 yrs together, many affairs, 3 kids, 2 dogs (RIP), me with no family, u with two, 2 abortions, 4 houses, many arguments and sadness and hurt.

    I want to tell u that once upon a time I loved u with every inch of my being …… But after getting back together for the 2nd time I have an inner strength and peace within me that u can no longer suck out of me – I have hidden it away so that I can call upon it each time that u name call me or tell me to get out of ur house. but now I just love u!

    Our three beautiful children deserve to have both of their parents there for them every single day ….. So I am only back with u so they can have a normal and happy childhood — unlike the one I grew up in. I owe them that and will remind myself of this each time u criticize me or try to make me feel like I am not worthy of respect or love.

    Over the years u have drained me of the true person that I am on the inside ……. Spirited, honest, loving, kind, good looking, happy, fun to be around, a good person and intelligent! And u have tried to replace these things with criticism, anger, dishonesty, doubt, lies, control, hurt, shame and low self esteem.

    The counsellor told me that it’s a “co-dependent relationship” and I have allowed u to mold me into the person that u want ….. I researched the characteristics of this “co-dependency” and I tick 9/10 of the categories. But now I am armed with this knowledge …… And u know what they say “knowledge is power”. Times they are a changing.

    So I want to tell u a few home truths — no longer will I feel guilty for being myself, saying what I think, not jumping when u click ur fingers, putting myself last and u have to share the workload around the house I work full-time too! Just because u have balls and a dick doesn’t mean u can be a lazy arse and then have a go at me for wanting to chill out sometimes.

    I love u but now I love myself more —– so get used to it!

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