• In dire need of advice….help!

    by  • November 14, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Advice • 4 Comments

    It’s here. His birthday. I wouldn’t say I have been dreading it, but I guess there seems to be a cloud over my head, just waiting to see if I can take the rain or not. Before, I would always look forward to this day. I always thought it would give me an excuse to be able to start a conversation with him again. An excuse to finally feel connected to him on some level again. We haven’t talked in so long and I miss him desperately. I play these mind games with myself, tricking my mind into thinking maybe a simple happy birthday could start a good conversation and we get back into our beautiful flow again and he realizes he misses me more than he thought he did. What if that happened. Although, a simple thank you back would make my heart leap just as much. Then there are those fears. Those ever to prevalent fears of no respond back or no answer. What happens then? I would crumble. I would feel embarrassed and disappointed in myself for failing to stay strong. But then again what if he answers? I am beyond unsure and have been torturing myself to find the answer. It’s a simple “happy birhtday” but would it be worth it?

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    4 Responses to In dire need of advice….help!

    1. Tiffany
      November 15, 2011 at 12:44 am

      Think about it. Would he be someone you would call if you knew you were going to die? Is there something that remains unsaid between you? If not, then consider the option of saying nothing. Sometimes the best option is to walk away and maintain your dignity.

      However, a simple Happy Birthday is innocuous, it means so little, it means so much, it means whatever the person receiving it wants to think or imagine it means. If later you run into this person, you can feel harmless, it was just a simple Happy Birthday after all. But if he doesn’t answer, don’t let your mind, or heart, fall apart, it was only a simple wish after all, besides you have no idea what he is doing, or even if he can respond.

      Weigh your options, but ultimately do what is best for you, forget him.


    2. F. G.
      November 15, 2011 at 5:43 am

      The only way to retain control over your sanity and protection of your feeling from a person who nflicts pain insensitive or mean responses or lack there of, is to not give the opportunity to inflict damage. So if u honestly are ok with any response or lack of, then go ahead. If this person cares about u, he wouldnt respond coldly nor would he ignore your messages. Best of luck…


    3. Kat
      November 24, 2011 at 11:34 pm

      Get over him and move on. If you’re not in that beautiful flow, then he’s not worth it… wish I could take my own advice. Good luck!


    4. mnspeights
      November 30, 2011 at 10:02 am

      It may be too late, and you may have already made your choice, but here’s what I hope. I hope that you did tell him. I hope you told him Happy Birthday and anything else that has been weighing on your mind. Life is too short to let so many things go unsaid. Don’t live with regrets, don’t live wondering ‘what if……’. Live knowing that you followed your heart and didn’t hide in the shadows by letting your brain make the big decisions for you. I hope you told him. And not just him, tell everyone what you’re thinking. Tell everyone just how much they mean to you, don’t ride the bench when it comes to your happiness. Take an active part.



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