I love you. I don’t know how else to put it. It sounds so incredibly cliche -almost childish, a cop-out. It’s so overused. How about I put it like this: I care so deeply for you- for your wellbeing, for your feelings, for your future. I want you to never stop smiling your smile or let life take you away from your dreams or change what a genuinely wonderful human being you are. We have never kissed or held hands, but I suppose that’s how I know it’s real; I’m not blinded by some uncontrollable sexual frustration. This is something of the soul, and much more pure. I miss sitting on your couch and watching Finding Nemo, eating popsicles, and playing pictionary with you so close to me. I miss catching your eye and smirking at each other. I miss your eyes and your constant smile. I miss your loud laugh and dry humor and you always making fun of me. I miss standing in that parking lot after a chance encounter and talking for two hours about anything and everything. I have never been happier than I was that night. I don’t understand when I began caring for you so powerfully. Maybe it’s when I left for college and you stayed home. I started missing how simple it all was because things are now so complicated. And now you’re moving on; not that there was anything definable between us to move on from, but it still hurts. I know you care about me, too. The way you stare into my eyes is unlike anything I’ve experienced; that can’t be meaningless. I wish I had kissed you or grabbed your rough hands at some point. but now I think it’s too late. I wonder if you miss me as much as I miss you. I hope so.
I tried to categorize this under ‘moving on’, but I couldn’t. it just hurt too much.