It’s all up to fate. That’s what everyone keeps telling me. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. But what if it doesn’t? I’m terrified that maybe fate will forget about us, or maybe it will make a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes right? So who is to say that fate can’t as well?
I think I may love you.
That also terrifies me. My friends must be annoyed by this point by how much I talk about you. If my reoccurring thoughts of you don’t signify the beginnings of love, then I must not truly know myself.
I can’t tell how you feel about me. I have been trying for weeks to figure you out. We have known each other since the beginning of the semester, and started studying together a lot a couple of months ago. Last week, you took me to a movie. Was that a date? I know you paid, but everyone tells me that doesn’t count.. How about the next night? When you called me up and invited me to the Blues game? I know I wasn’t the most exciting person there, but was that a date? When we went back to your apartment afterwards and didn’t want to leave, was it a date then? Or how about later when we decided to go to a few bars together. You bought all of my drinks, so was that a date? That night, when I curled up next to you in bed wearing your shirt, did you feel something for me?
I can’t figure you out. You haven’t tried to kiss me, but yet we slept in the same bed together.. People don’t generally sleep with their friends, but then again, if you wanted something more, why haven’t you made a move?
I don’t know what else to do. I think I have made it pretty obvious how I feel about you. I have done everything short of telling you, and that I won’t do. Your friendship is so valuable to me, I don’t know what I would do if I screwed that up.
I know you think I’m too young for you. You’ve hinted at it many times. I just don’t know how to show you that 5 years is not a big difference. We are both in college, and both adults. Yes, in high school it would have been a huge deal, but now it’s just not.
We’re both leaving in 2 months. I am terrified that those four months apart will ruin whatever we have started now. What if we get back, and you don’t remember me?
I just want to know how you feel. That one statement would allow me to relax. If you aren’t interested, at least I can begin to move on. But if you are, then we can begin our lives together.
I just have this feeling that we were meant to be. I had this instant connection with you that I haven’t felt in a long time. We are so alike, but only in the good ways. You always make me laugh, and your adoration for your dog shows me just how good of a lover you would be.
Just please tell me, do you love me?