• Sometimes I wonder why I met you?

    by  • November 13, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 2 Comments

    All my life I have believed in love, in all of the fairy tales. I have just never believed that it will happen to me. I have also always believed that things happen for a reason. That the people you meet are put in your life for a reason, and after all the heartbreaks and the ”I will never go through this again” I had started to give up on love. However if there is anything I have learned is how cruel destiny can be. He put you here in my life he dangled you in front of me. You, you were, you are everything I have ever wanted. If someone had asked me to write down what the perfect man for me would be before I met you, that description would have been exactly you. Smart, intellectual, with a passion for life, with a passion for travel and ambitions and not only that but all of the talent you have. You are honestly the most amazing person that I have ever met, and I am starting to believe that I will never meet someone else like you. I am scared that for the rest of my life I will try to find someone like you and no one, absolutely no one will measure up. And even though you’re everything I’ve ever wanted I can’t have you, I can’t have you and it hurts so much sometimes to think about this that I feel the air escape from my lungs. This might sound ridiculous to you, because even though you know I like you, you don’t know that I love you, and that I don’t know what I am going to do when you leave. There will be emptiness all around me a hole so big and I won’t know how to fill it. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore, and unfortunately for me that’s going to have to happen in a couple of months. But I will never actually let you know how much it will hurt me for you to leave; I think that if you read this you might think that I’m crazy. And you know what maybe I am, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am in love with you and I don’t know how to not be. Sometimes I wonder if you’re in love with me too but then I remind myself that if you were then why wouldn’t you have told me by now. But it’s those little times when I catch you looking at me without saying anything that look you give me that sends chills running down my spine, it’s those moments when you hug me and those moments when we sit there and say nothing, it’s those moments that make me question how you feel about me. However I must bring myself back down to reality and it is then that I question destiny. Why are you in my life why did I meet you? What am I supposed to learn from this? I feel like destiny just dangled you in front of me till I was in too deep and I liked you too much to let go only to find out that you are very confused about what you like. And then when I fell in love with you, destiny throws yet another curve at me by taking you far far away from me. I wish I could tell you all of this after all we’re supposed to be best friends right? And I tell you everything else all the time I feel so close to you. But it hurts so much to sit there and hear about these other people you go out with and how they are terrible people, meanwhile I want to jump up and say “I’m in love with you in case you forgot, me! I love you! Pick me! Forget about everyone else” But I restrain myself because I would rather you be happy and if that means you not being with me and me having to sit there and listen to you like a good best friend then so be it because that is how much I care about you. I put our friendship before anything, and I always will even if I never see you again. Either way you may never read this but I love you and I always will.

    2 Responses to Sometimes I wonder why I met you?

    1. Roxy
      November 13, 2011 at 10:55 pm

      I’m sorry. I understand, unfortunately.

    2. Lala
      November 17, 2011 at 12:48 pm

      This whole situation just is terrible

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