• Speechless.

    by  • November 12, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Moving On • 0 Comments

    You’re disrespectful & disgusting. Rude , & have told me you hated me. You also told me though, that you loved me. I would tell you no you didn’t, because we were so young, but you would tell me, yes I do. Last summer we talked on the phone for hours about everything; we had so many plans to when we were older where we would go, and other memories we would make. I knew so much about you, & you knew everything about me. When I woke up , scared to death about something, I would call you. You would ALWAYS answer; sleeping or not. You also constantly played me, but I constantly let you. When I finally didn’t, we stopped talking. You dated her, & our memories were flushed out of your head. I didn’t care though, because of how mean you were to be, how you treated me, I hated you. We stopped talking, even though we had every class together. Then , the beginning of this summer started; & I remembered everything. & for some odd reason, I missed it. I tried your cell ,a million times. I’ve tried your friends & everything. Then a couple nights ago, you called me. We talked all night again. Nothing about really, just catching up with each other. But it just went to smooth ; it felt right. Ever since then I can’t stop thinking about you. ?

    Why can’t I just let it all go? Then, I told you, I liked you. You told me, you liked me back. Then the stupidest thing happened, he asked me out. Yes him. & I said yes, because I wasn’t sure. You didn’t seem to care & it didn’t last long anyway. I thought me & you would be perfect, I mean you understood me, no matter how many fights we got into. You understood me more than anyone else. And guess what? I understand you too. Everyday I would fall for you more & more, & then the absolute worst thing happened, my ‘best friend’ told me she liked you. Don’t you know, I am a really good friend aren’t I. Ha; well guess what. You liked her, too! Today you kept asking me, ‘should I ask her out?’ ‘Are you sure you want me to do this?’ & I said that it wasn’t my choice to make, it wasn’t my place to step in and make a decision like that for you. I just told you, to NOT hurt her, like you hurt me. Just like you tore me down many, many times before. & today, you asked her out & her answer was of course yes. I had to be happy for her – she is my best friend. Hell, I had to be happy for you do, but I couldn’t. And it was because I knew that that was not what you wanted. So I flashed her a smile , & ran to the bathroom by myself & cried. Just letting it sink in ; that you were dating her. That she stole THE SECOND GUY I LIKED. & IT PISSED ME OFF. Are you going to think about her like you thought about me? Are you going to have strong connection with her like you had with me? Am I going to loose you? Is she going to be better than I ever was? And I can’t handle this. I just can’t do it, but I have to. And I just want to let you know, that I really , really care about you. Even when your a dick, or when you act immature, or when you piss me off, I will still care about you. And I sure as hell hope you will care about me, the same. I miss you, so much. Please, don’t forget me , or anything we had. Please. Remember what it was like to love me. &don’t forget.

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