I miss you so much. You were my best friend. Honestly, I think about you a lot. I wonder if you think about me. I guess you probably do. I wish I could contact you. I wish I could reach out to you, hear your voice, see how you’re doing but I can’t. You were such a destructive force.
I understand why you are the way that you are. I know you’ve been through a lot. But you have to start picking up the pieces at some point and accept responsibility for your life. You never would.
4am calls. In and out of counseling. Cutting. Drinking. Drugs. Suicide attempts. What else could I do but end the friendship? Nothing I did mattered and you wouldn’t really get help. You just dragged me into it all and it was hard. So hard. Yes, friends should discuss the “deep stuff” but at the same time, you can’t place everything on them. That isn’t fair.
And you couldn’t see how your distress affected everyone around you. It hurt everyone that cared about you. So, I had to take care of myself. I’m sorry but you gave me no alternative.
I wish you the best. I hope that life has righted for you. I hope that you are happy. I hope you have found love. I wish we could be friends but I just don’t know if that is possible.
I love you.