Thank you for everything. You came into my life at the worst possible time. You said I did the same to you. SO High Five for Worst Timing. Things are bad for both of us. At this point we’re both so empty. Our friendship just started three weeks ago, October 13th [even though we’ve known each other for five years I believe]. You were surprised when I knew the exact date, but like i told you it was a big day for me. Lots of things happened that changed my path. Wren was breaking my heart for the second time. I was upset and wanted french fries but didn’t want o go alone so I posted it to see if anyone would go with me you did. It was the first we’d ever really hung out. We spent hours in Burger King just talking. We clicked so fast and so well. things have gotten harder and you keep saying its cause your a jerk but don’t mean to be. i know you don’t and its not just you, I’m so stressed and so angry and sad that I can’t handle anything, not even jokes. I explained this but I don’t know if you understood completely.
I do have a point to this letter. I know you’re a great guy who’s just having a really hard life. Between your father and step-mom trying to kick you out and your only option is to move from Cali to New Mexico. And that whore making you pay child support. You did fuck her [so did many other men that week] and you should have to help with the baby but she has a child with another man and shes living off child support. I knew her in high school well i knew of her and I didn’t like her. If I could help you pay I would. $61200 until your child support is paid off. 300$ a month for 17 years… She won’t even let you see your daughter on her birthday. I know you want to be a part of her life you just hate the mother. I’ve seen your struggle with this. Your trying to set up a college thing for her which is more then most people do. I think I’ll start doing scratch tickets like i used to. maybe I’ll will win something and can help out. I wonder if you would accept the money.
You keep saying I’m amazing, but I’m terrible. That man, you know the one who kept breaking my heart and you finally talked sense into me, well when he told me about the baby, I got scared. I didn’t want to get involved with someone who had a baby at such a young age, but 20 isn’t really young to have a child. I’ve thought so much about it and I have no reason to stay away from you cause of a baby. That would be stupid, true it makes me nervous and upsets me sometimes, but only cause I can see how much it’s fucked you over. Not just the baby but life. Mikey I wish I could help and breaks my heart that I can’t.
After everything you’ve done for me I can’t do anything. I’m working and not making enough money to move out of my parents house so i can’t spare any money but if I did win money I would put it aside and once I’d gotten enough, not likely to win 61200$ though, I would write an anonymous check with a letter saying it was for Child support. It’s the only way I know to make things easier for you. You don’t have a job but you’re trying, which is more than most.
Mikey I like you and you just came in at the worst time, again High Five for Worst Timing. You make me feel happy, beautiful, and make me want to keep trying. Yesterday I was going to give Wren another chance and I knew if you found out you would stop talking to me. When I told you about it you said If i did you would stop talking to me. I said fine. You told me you didn’t really mean it and we talked about it for a while off an on all last night. You saw me cry, so much. The two of you hate each other. Last night I decided he didn’t get another chance cause you were right he was using me. you said you didn’t want to see him hurt me anymore. I told you that one of the main reason I choose not to give him another chance was cause I knew I would have to choose between the two of you and I chose you. I don’t remember what you said or if you remember it cause you were falling asleep, but I think you were happy about it.
A lot has happened this year for me and it’s been the reason I’m so angry and sad all the time and last night I told you everything. We jumped into everything so fast we had hung out for a week and then became fuck buddies. I told you yesterday I didn’t want to be that anymore I just wanted a friend. I thought you were gonna stop talking to me like Austin did when I said I wasn’t going to sleep with him. But you didn’t and that alone shows me you do care. I didn’t make things easy though, I did break it off rather quickly with no warning. Last night after the worst part of the night was over we cuddled and talked about everything. we sat n my car and you help me for hours, even tighter when I cried. Now I feel empty, this must be how you feel all the time. I have no care, no want, no nothing. You saw that in me today, you kept asking if I was OK and I said I would be. Hopefully I will be. I hope even more that you will smile an honest smile even more though. We had kissed so many times before last night but Last night was the first I’d actually felt anything. A spark maybe, but still the worst timing.
I want so bad to send you this letter but I don’t think I could. I’ll save it on my computer so if I do someday decide to I won’t have to go hunting on here for it. When I look at your beautiful eyes, the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I can see your emptiness. It breaks my heart and I just want o cry. I think that’s the real reason I hate the Child thing, I know it’s one of the main causes.
You’ve helped me so much and I’m going to do anything I can to help you.
Thank you Mikey.