Me and my insecurities. I felt something is wrong. something is really wrong. I felt it, I knew.
Not wanting it to be something with you, I told myself it’s me. My insecurities, told myself you just don’t love me, don’t care.
I should have listened to my feelings, my born instinct. I should have listened instead of so quickly doubt, then again I still do – just differenet.
I am an idiot with selfish needs. A contradiction darn near impossible to explain. Explain, more words, what for?
Yes, I am an idiot! Then again, you are an idiot for shutting me out, not realizing how much worse it would be, it is.
We are both selfish yet thinking of the other, just not straight because all logic has been out the window so long ago.
The truly ironic thing is that I could make all your worries disappear, that would be so easy for me….and you, you could make all my worries disappear and it would be so easy for you. Point: combining and sharing, neither one of us would be tired and heavy loaded as we are.
Trust, faith in love …not easy, is it? Never is but without it, nobody will be happy.
I love you, let’s share, let’s share it all. Oh god I wish you would and let me too. Choices dear but yes, I admit, I am just an idiot and a very helpless one at that…especially right now.
Worries and one of the biggest fear has come true. We are not invincible and if ever – this, these are the moments that show what we are to each other.
I will be here for you, dying just a little more inside because you take all choices from me. Hurt because instead of needing me, wanting me close you shut me out and push me further away.
Your ‘peaceful’ world will take care of you.
BUT I will be here for you because that is what love is all about, KNOW I will be here, that’s all you want.
Seems you will really never know but then again, I am an idiot and that will never change.
Take a moment to wonder, how did I even know? Maybe that means nothing though.
Rambling…and half asleep, I am such an idiot.