• a fool’s dream

    by  • November 8, 2011 • * Safe for Work *, Yearning • 2 Comments

    B,

    Meeting you has been wonderful. You are one of my closest friends, you are a good listener and You have been so supportive.

    Unfortunately for me, I also think I fell in love with you. At the least, I REALLY like you. I have only known you for two months, but we have spent so much time together. I have really high standards in guys, but you meet all of them. I have never met anyone like you-you challenge me, push me to be better, but also encourage me. We get along so well, we communicate well, but, it was not meant to be. I should have prayed more, I should have guarded my heart from you.

    You see, this is where I sing a song: “I’m not that girl.” from Wicked, which you know of course. But that is the song I can sing, because you are in love with someone else. The clincher is, I have helped you help her and helped you deal with your feelings for her-in fact I called you out on them when I saw them, and you didn’t believe me. The two of you are basically planning to date in the future. I am now completely out of the question.

    Not that I ever thought you would think of me that way. It was a fool’s dream, but I dreamed anyway. I had this feeling that you are going to be in my life for a very long time-I guess it will be in the friendship capacity.

    Some days I wish you would just be mean, so I could justify avoiding you. But you aren’t mean, in fact you are the kindest and most generous person I know.

    Still, I am grateful for your friendship, it is a blessing and an adventure. And I know you’ll always be there for me, and I’ll always be there for you. I just need to go home and collect my thoughts, because right now, I cannot even begin to know what I feel.

    I will never tell you-it would spoil everything that we have. I wish you and her well-she is a good person from what I can tell and she makes you very happy. And that makes me happy. I smiled big for you when you told me she reacted positively to what you had to say. And you didn’t even know what was behind my eyes.

    God bless and keep you.

    me

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    2 Responses to a fool’s dream

    1. jeym
      November 9, 2011 at 4:29 am

      aww. </3 I salute you for being that strong. </3 It must have hurt like hell. </3




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    2. author (me)
      November 12, 2011 at 4:42 pm

      Thank you. It did. But I will be okay.




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